I’ve been interested in starting an online journal for a while. Post #1. I love pen and paper but that cannot be shared. I want my feelings to be acknowledged by others. I live in my head and get a little crazy at times but I know I’m not alone in the way I feel.
In addition to that writing out my feelings is therapy for me. When the feelings leave my mind and enter the paper they’re released from me. It’s weight off my shoulders. Unfortunately I usually only write when I’m really upset and can’t deal by myself so anyone who read my journal would think that I was a miserable soul. One day I will share it all to my family or my kids. To help them understand who I am or was. And hopefully by that time they will know me well enough to know that I’m not and have a huge happy heart. But when it’s bad…it’s really bad.
So many things I want to write about I don’t even want to start. I feel like I have to document my whole life to make sense of everything going on today. My childhood. My teenage years. I could write a book on my college experiences and self esteem and anxiety. Maybe I could really do that one day. My relationship. Being a stepmother. Depression. Religion. My career. Health. Mental health. Friends. Insecurities. I would love if my experiences could help someone else. In sharing and reflecting I’m already helping myself.
This is going to be a big project but I’m ready to take it on. Weeks, moths, years. However long it takes. I’m going thru it all.