I needed to get my last entry out of me! The only things I can think of doing is arranging counselling for myself for all the different things that have happened in my life…just so I can finally talk about things properly and maybe the memories would stop consuming me so much. I have also noticed at Harry’s play and pray group that it had a number for a place that does a mindfulness course which was a big part of the DBT therapy I was supposed to do in Heatherwood Court back in 2008…you can sign yourself up for that and arrange that for yourself too. These are just things I have been seriously considering. Because if I finally talk about and face things maybe I can find peace with myself and with that, I can definitely not have to worry about being ill with Harry around.
I have felt really physically unwell this evening and tonight…really tired, achy head and just a general exhausted feeling of unwellness, lol that’s not even a word but I know what I mean. Harry’s father sent me a text a couple of hours ago to say that Harry Potter was on TV and that it’ll always make him think of me. Don’t really know how to feel about the statement after everything really. Yes I chose the name Harry from Harry Potter and during my relationship with Harry’s father we watched the films together all the time, even fell asleep to them. We are massive fans. When I was a young teenager watching Harry Potter I always thought to myself that if I had a boy I would definitely name him Harry. And here I am with my very own Harry. I really wish I had time to watch those movies again!!
Anyway yes I really did just come here to talk about this pointless crap. Never mind! Means something to me.