My son might turn into a serial killer.

MY SON IS EVIL !!!!

Really, he is. I don’t know how to put this but sometimes he does stuff that makes me question his sanity. He’s only a 1st grader…soon actually, he’s starting 1st grade in September, but already at 6 years old he acts like an adult with too much on his mind and alcohol is the only thing that keeps him leveled (metaphorically of course, my son is six so no he doesn’t drink alcohol.)

Last night, after I was done with work, I went to pick him and his sisters at kindergarten and daycare and one of the three ladies who take care of the children pulled me aside into a whisper intervention. She had that look on her face. You know, that look when you have to tell someone something about another person, but you’re afraid that the person who it concerns might hear you and horrible repercussion will follow ? Yeah, that look. She pulled me aside while I was in the middle of helping my daughter Sophie gather her stuff and put her jacket on (Julian was still playing with his friends and had NO intention on going home, after chasing him around for a solid 10 minutes, I gave up on him for a while and focused on the child that actually wanted to go home.)

While I was putting Sophie’s jacket on, I noticed that she had a fairly large Band-Aid around her wrist with medical gauzes. I frowned and wondered what the heck happened to my child, that’s when the daycare lady came up to me and asked me to follow her in a whisper.

After pulling me away from the other parents, she then proceeded to tell me that Julian tortured his sister today. He tied a rubber-band around her wrist so tightly it cut her circulation and it was almost impossible to take it off. The lady at the daycare said that in order to remove it, they had to use an xacto knife in order to cut the rubber band because they couldn’t even get scissors to work. She was crying and her little hands were turning purple. Everyone in the daycare panicked because they couldn’t get it off and Sophie was freaking out, not letting them approach her with the xacto knife to free her (with reasons, I mean, she’s 4 years old and seeing a grown up walk up to you with a knife probably terrified her.) So she was running away, leaving the rubber band around her wrist for an even longer period of time.

They finally managed to calm her down and cut the band off her wrist and that thing was so tight it almost broke skin and bled. She’s still a small fragile little nugget and her skin got so irritated by it, it left a huge mark all around and it was so red, at first they thought that she was bleeding.

None of the ladies knew at the time that it was Julian who purposely put the rubber band on his sister. Then after some interrogation, he came clean. When they asked him why he did it, his response was simply “I just wanted to make her cry.”

There was also another indecent in the same day where Julian tried to “cut” his sister’s hair with his bare hands by pulling on the strands with all his strength.

I think Julian might hate his younger sister for some reason because it’s not the first time he has tried to attack her and inflict pain for the sole purpose of his amusement.

(I’m telling you guys, my son is going to grow up to be a serial killer….I am already mentally preparing myself from when I hear the news when he gets older that he murdered a bunch of women that remind him of the sister that he hates.)

I told him that I was going to tell his dad when we get home and he just shrugged like he didn’t care at all. Sometimes he scares me. Julian isn’t the most affectionate child around. He barely comes to me or his father for hugs and kisses, he’s always in his corner playing by himself and he doesn’t smile very often…only when people get hurt.

 

I NEED YOUR ADVICE !!!

 

I told my mother that I was going to take him to a specialist of some sort to make sure that everything was alright in this little head of his, but my mom keeps repeating that taking him to a psychotherapist is only going to make it worse and we should just leave him be until he outgrows it. But my fear is, what if he doesn’t outgrow it and it becomes worse ?

I did take him to see a local therapist when he was four because he was having fun torturing the neighbors’ cat and that terrified me. He’s the one that told me Julian was showing traits of a sociopath. He also reassured me that sociopath doesn’t mean serial killer, it just means that he has the wrong emotional responses to certain situations and his needs and feelings are slightly on the selfish side.

What do I do ? I have this lingering fear that my son is going to turn into a Ted Bundy someday and it is freaking me out. I love my son, he means everything to me but sometimes he scares the living shit out of me. His dad seems to be the only one who he listens too and he works a lot so he is often alone with me and since I have two other children I need to care fore, it’s hard to keep tabs on his mood swings, his change in behavior and what he gets himself into.

 

I need help !!

 

4 thoughts on “My son might turn into a serial killer.”

  1. I want to get him checked out. And I am, despite what my mother says, because he is MY son not hers. But it’s hard to get the help you need when your family doesn’t approve of the decisions + my fiancé is ALWAYS working so he isn’t here when Julian goes on his sociopathic “episodes” if I may call them like this. So both my mom and my fiancé think that’s I’m overreacting and that nothing is wrong with Julian, but there’s definitely something there and I want, no…I HAVE to get him help. What kind of parent would I be if I just allowed my child to not get the help and counselling he deserves ?

  2. As an older mother with grown kids, (not quite an elder mother), the first thing I would like to say is do not panic. Our children are highly keen on our facial expressions, reactions, and moods. Sometimes that is exactly what they want; to control, not necessarily the person they are torturing, annoying, defying, etc., but the reaction of others. With a grown problem child of my own, retrospect is so much clearer. To keep a tight eye on Julian and truly assess and help him, you will first need to develop the skill of an Oscar Award Winning Poker Face. I’m dead serious. No matter how deeply embedded your knee-jerk reactions are, get a fast grip on them. You are going to need this skill of stoicism and calm resolve to deal with this matter. With kids like Julian, especially boys, there is often a battle of wills going on to test the resolve of their mothers, female adult caregivers, teachers, and sisters. The game becomes boring fast when the kid consistently sees firm consequences coupled with that killer, unmovable poker face that spanks their ass good with a “you’re-ruining-no-day-but-your-own” expression. Keep the voice and tone low and forthright. Intensely calm and matter-of-fact. Immediately upon the first whiff of chaos/defiance/disorder, present firmly and consistently before all of your children with your best VIP business meeting face you are in charge of. Because you are. If they do not see your steely demeanor, they will be likely to run with the ball, especially Julian. I cannot stress this ‘new demeanor’ tactic enough. My son told me it made the hair stand up on the back of his neck, (good!) and later referred to me as “hard core” when his father had the scariest, booming voice and temperament on the planet. This is because ‘screamy-yelly’ is what children do. It is not good parenting skills befitting an adult, especially parents. Hence; no respect. They see you (us) the same as their peers, worthy of a challenge. Regardless your passionate Irish-Italian background and natural inclination to panic and yell, it’s no good. Though passionate homes like the one I grew up in most often breed wonderfully adjusted adults, this type of communication is not the best we can do for our children. It did not work for my screamy-yelly mother. It did not work for me. My problem son responded best to my VIP business face and tone. I stopped asking why he did a crazy thing and simply, coldly, stated that he did and proceeded with the consequences he had been told of.

    Example: (Do) “You hurt your sister’s wrists with rubber bands. We talked about this and what would happen when you deliberately hurt people.”
    Example: (Don’t) “WHY did you DO THAT?!!! You almost cut her HANDS off with rubber BANDS!!! What is the MATTER with YOU?!!!

    Get and maintain control of yourself first, then handle the situation. Trust your instincts, yes, but as a mother of a certain age, I tend to side with your mother at this point. Six years old is still somewhat of a baby. There is the risk of the enjoyment of counseling due to the special one-on-one ‘special Julian attention’ best received from his father and you. And you are capable. I don’t think any parent would appreciate their child growing treatment happy and wise, enjoying treatment, engaging in things that will keep them going back for the attention. It is an occurrence many parents miss due to our good intentions and learned trust in ‘professionals’. Also, just because someone is a professional does not mean they know what they are doing? Ever hire a bad plumber or car repairman? Bad pros are everywhere.

    Be calm. Keep your emotions in check. Do not freak out just because daycare workers/teachers freak out. I have dealt with those types too. I learned to calmly thank them for letting me know, stated a quick apology for the ruckus and let them know I would deal with the matter at home, which I immediately did. The drive home was aloof toward the offending child while buying time to calm myself asking the other kids how their days went. This does NOT mean nonchalance. It means calm, collected, strong, with the first order of business once home being a VERY brief chat with ‘offender’ and consequence swiftly delivered. (Being too chatty about what they did, why they did it and why you now have to punish them tends to haze things up with younger children.) The consequence part is your business. I used television and toy deprivation along with alone-in-room time for rest of evening, with allowance to join family for dinner only. (No TV, video games, etc. to distract thoughts from their consequences.)

    Monitor everything. Friends, friend’s parents, TV, computer, tablet, everything. Reward good behavior but not overly so. Special rewards for good behavior and common things they are supposed to be doing is an easy way to raise a narcissist. Don’t ask me how I know. Never mind. I’ll tell you. It was the therapist’s awesome, ‘professional’ idea. All 25 of them. *hint hint* All that smiling, cooing, rewarding while sending the message something was wrong/different did a worse number on his head than my mistakes. I thought it odd at the time but they were ‘Professionals’. Right? I am not anti-pro help if absolutely needed, but be exceedingly cautious and wary if you choose that route. Mothers really do know best and do not credit ourselves enough. ‘Professionals’ spend only short moments with our children and are paid to care. Just food for thought.

    I think/hope you NEVER let him hear you refer to him as a serial killer or any other negative label. Please be extremely careful with that. It’s best not said at all. They often listen when we speak with our friends on the phone, etc, and think they are outside or not listening. Good luck and God bless you. I am sharing with you the things I wish I knew during my child-rearing days, things I cannot correct now. I hope you can and wish you and your family all the best. 🙂

    By the way, were you raised with brothers near your own age? I usually see the reaction you posted in women raised by single mothers with sisters or mothers with daughters only. Boys can be particularly weird. (lol) It usually does not result in psychopathic/sociopathic adolescence or adulthood. My brothers did far worse. All three are now highly educated, accomplished, well balanced men to be proud of. Think positive while keeping a tight eye on your children. Statistics indicate that overreaction is more likely to lead to actual psychiatric problems. I am not saying you are overreacting, but it is possible. I have unintentionally written a novel here but one more time–boys can be very weird. Girls too, but boys have a from of weirdness often difficult for mothers to comprehend… They pee (and worse) on furniture and people to mark like animals, put their peckers in their food and everywhere else, tear things up. They are nothing like girls… and that is not terribly unusual at all. 😉

  3. Sorry for the late reply.

    Thank you ssoooooo much for your input. I was starting to be very worried about my son and the way he has been acting as of late.

    It it true that I only have a sister and wasn’t raised around boys and don’t fully know how brothers or rather how buys act or have fun with their siblings.

    My fiancé two brothers and a sister and was less worried about our son Julian. I informed him of the information you provided and he confirmed that when he was a kid, him and his brothers used to torture and torment their sister for fun and downright terrified her at times. All three of them grew up to be well balanced young men and their younger sister doesn’t have any sort of emotional scarring based on what she endured as a young child. They even laugh about it today and reminisce on how evil her brothers were to her.

    My fiancé also stated that he was like Julian when he was about his age and was nowhere near being a psychopath, he was just very independent at a young age and slightly manipulative because, like me, their mom would freak out whenever they did something to their sister. But over the years she grew to understand that nothing in someone’s personality is all black or white.

    I understand better now why he didn’t see the use of having Julian be seen by a professional and my mom also has older brothers and was also against having Julian followed professionally. She endured the same treatment as well, and turned out to be a great woman who has nothing but love for her two brothers.

    I asked my son what he thought abut having siblings and if he disliked his sister and his response was surprising to me.

    he told me that he likes being an older brother and loves both his sisters because he’ll be able to teach them stuff when they grow up. Then I asked him, why does he hurt her then and he looked at me confused and said “We’re just playing.”

    Since then, I haven’t noticed any type of alarming interaction between the two and they’re getting along pretty well.

    So maybe I was overreacting a bit.

    I’m going to keep observing him and how he interacts with his sisters. Maybe it’ll help me better understand how to raise a little boy.

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