It’s Been A Minute

I thought I would update myself on the things that have happened within the past year of my last post, which I just referred back to and re-read like, 3 times. Wow. I didn’t realize I was in such a shitty spot in my life. 

WELL. James and I did continue to date after my last post, except we broke up I think either a few weeks to a month after I wrote that. Ironic, I know. And the reason was because we just did not get along, which I understand, but the way we broke up has honestly haunted me to this very day. He literally just dropped me out of nowhere. He acted super distant and as soon as I went to close in to confront him about our relationship situation, he completely shut down and ignored me. I’m talking about no answered questions, no answered texts or phone calls, and every time I tried to see him in person to try and confront him, he’d run away or drive to a different town with his friends. He ended up getting with this girl who worked at a bar with three kids from three different guys a few days after he shut down from me. And then he slept with Natalie, who now is Aaron’s baby’s mother. He said Ashley, (the girl who obviously can’t keep it out of her ovaries), was fed up with him talking about me all of the time so it didn’t work out. It didn’t work out with Natalie either, apparently, because he just hooked up with her while he was drunk and instantly regretted it afterwards. He came running back to me about 2 months after we broke up when I was finally getting over him. And I promised myself nothing would happen except maybe casual sex. But of course that never works out. We ended up back together for little over a year and it was weird. He wasn’t clingy or controlling. He actually didn’t care who I talked to or where I went and with who. We had each other blocked off of social media until about 3 months before we ended it for the last time. And even then, we only had each other on Facebook. It was nerve wrecking because I had asked some of his friends what that was a sign of–him not being so protective over me–and they couldn’t look me in the eyes. I should’ve known right there it was just gonna all go to Hell.

We broke up about three weeks ago, give or take a few days. It wasn’t surprising. I haven’t felt upset or sad at all, just pissed off, because he is a pussy and did the same thing he did the last time that ruined my trust with people. He just disappeared out of nowhere.

The last in-person conversations we had went like this:
“I am taking a break from you.”
“But for how long?”
“I don’t know, until I learn to care about you again.”

And if that wasn’t a big ass blow to the face, I don’t know what could’ve topped that. So he drove off, left me in the hospital parking lot alone, (it was Natalie giving birth that day), and I went on with my life from there.
The last time we spoke via text, he told me I had an ugly heart or something of that nature, because I was pissed off and told him how truly awful of a human being he was.

No, he has the ugly soul. And I’ll make sure to get into that more in broader description. I cannot stay off track with how well things have gone when I am not around that scum of a person.

For starters, when we broke up the first time, I got the opportunity to get my partying in, while also sleeping with Beja, my brother’s best friend, who is 33 I believe. Yeah, 33 years old. And I was 19. And it was amazing. But again, I will talk about that in a more descriptive form later.

Now, about a week ago, I have been seeing my boss. Yes, my boss. Like I think I have a genuine problem because he is turning 27 soon. Which I don’t think THAT age gap is that bad. But again, he is my boss. And not just any boss, he is the boss of the boss. Pretty high up in the company with a lot of power in his position. It is hands down the best thing I’ve ever done with myself at this point in my life. I am very proud of myself for taking the job and meeting all kinds of new people and being able to make new friends and then being able to sleep with my boss.

Not being in a relationship with a toxic person changes you and I’m happy I gave myself the space that I truly deserved. I don’t want any affiliation with his family, him, or anything to do with him. His friends can hit me up all they want, they can try and get with me all they want, but that is just a huge punch in his face. 

I’ll come back to this.

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