If I was to leave, what the fuck would I do? These thoughts have been creeping up far too often, and it’s actually scaring me.
Only in the last few months has it been revealed that he doesn’t want kids. At all. We’ve been together 10 years, and it’s only now that he thinks it’s ok to change his mind about such a big thing. To be completely honest, I feel like I’ve been punched in the guts. All this time! And now he “won’t have the energy for it”. It’s all well and good for him – he already has a kid from a previous failed marriage, who I can barely stand when it visits. I really do not want to be in my own house what it’s here. The number of times there’s been crazy ideas of moving interstate or overseas, I really couldn’t be more excited at the prospect of seeing it even less. I hate when it here. It pains me to say ‘I love you’ to anyone, especially it. I can almost like her, but definitely not love. No way.
I’m currently unemployed.
I have ZERO qualifications.
I’m in my early fucking 30s.
And there’s a very high chance I have MS.
Things are definitely not looking up. At all.