[41] ~*Mon – 08/14/17*~

[8:35 pm]

I wanted to come write last night but the website wasn’t working. I got a bit scared that it had closed down or something. I could of done what I do sometime and write on my phone then copy-paste it here, but like I just said, I was scared something had happened to the website and didn’t want to write for nothing. I’m glad to see everything is back to normal.

I’m not feeling any better than I was yesterday morning. In fact, I think I’m feeling worse. Cramps are so bad, I keep feeling like I need to go to the bathroom so I go but once I’m there nothing. I get out and then I return. I’m exhausted and so sore. I should be taking a shower tonight to wash my hair but I don’t think I can. I don’t even know if I want to sit, lay or what. I almost feel like taking 2-3 sleeping pills to just sleep and not have to deal with the pain anymore. I know there must be something out there I can take to ease the pain but I don’t know what and don’t want to go to the pharmacy. I think I have a stomach flu but I don’t know. I read that cramps should go away after three days which is today so I hope to feel somewhat better tomorrow.

So yesterday I ended up just staying at work and working my day. I wasn’t feeling too bad and didn’t have to use the washroom. I didn’t really eat thought, had two small yogurts. What sucked is that it was cleaners night so I had to take everything off the floor and that didn’t help my belly at all with all the bending. I got home and me being me I had to keep going. I couldn’t leave the dishes there cause they had already been there for a day so I did those, took a bath and put some laundry away. I think I might have done too much cause today I’m feeling it.

Today, I woke up feeling not too bad so I went out and got my first client. She only took about an hour out of her three so I came back home and went back to bed. When I got up at 11:30, it was hell. My stomach was in so much pain and I felt like puking so very badly. I didn’t wanted to cancel my next client but there was no way I would of made it so I did end up cancelling her. I was going to tell the office that I would call back later to let them know if I was feeling any better or cancelling my last client but the client had already cancelled me and no one had called so that turned out perfect. I went back to bed with a bucket. I got out of bed around 3:00 when hub got up and gosh it was painful. I just wanted to go back to bed but I also wanted to go to the Casino and play those $5 just in case I could win some money and pay those 4 hrs I had missed today. I called my friend and wasn’t too sure about it as I kept doing some back and forth between the bathroom and kitchen. I finally decided to go and of course, we didn’t win. I then wasn’t too sure about eating but decided to eat at the Casino since we were there and figured I did have to eat even if I wasn’t too hungry. That went okay but at the end I felt like I wanted to puke. Now I’m home and I don’t know what I’m doing anymore.

Oh yea, I gave my friend $200 and OMG the look on her face. I was giving her $20 per $20 and she was like “what are you doing?!”. It was just so nice to see her face when I told her it was her money, that I had won $1025 and was giving her that. She was so very pleased and it made me feel happy. I told her I just couldn’t wait anymore and wanted to give her the money so it was another reason why I wanted to go out today even thought I was feeling so bad.

Anyways, right now I still feel like puking although I have managed not to puke yet. Maybe I should just do it and puke, maybe it would make me feel better but I hate puking so very badly. I really don’t understand the people that goes through puking all the time just to stay skinning. I surely wouldn’t ever get there. I almost want to go to the pharmacy to get something but I don’t have the energy to get dress and drive myself there. I really hope I feel better tomorrow. If not, I’ll have to go get something cause this is way too painful. I keep going to the bathroom and I don’t even have anything left in me. 

I wanted to watch an episode or two before heading to bed but I think I might just make my way there right now cause I really don’t know what to do with myself right now. The pain is too much. I hope laying down helps it a bit. *cries*




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