schedule change and new locker.

Today I walked to school to pick up my new ID, schedule, and textbooks.

It wasn’t so bad until I got to the last station to pick up my books, and found out that I have four giant hardcover textbooks as well a smaller paperback book about politics. God, they were so heavy, and I was panicking thinking about having to carry them back and forth every day. So I left them on a table with a nice nurse I knew and went back to the lines to buy the use of a locker, which I hadn’t done in the beginning because I didn’t think I needed one. So I spent five more dollars on that and then found my locker at the far end of our social studies hall.

I’ve never opened a dial lock before, so I looked it up online. Evidently, I was doing something wrong, because it didn’t open. Later I would leave and come back to the lockers and get help from a really nice teacher who happened to be helping a girl next to me. Turns out I had been spinning it in the wrong direction each time. Whoops.

The last person to use my locker had left a box in it. It had two notebooks, a PSAT practice packet, shredded pink confetti, bubble wrap, and a folded paper with all of their personal account names on it. Instagram, Snapchat, Gmail, you name it. I left all of their stuff in the locker since I wasn’t really sure if they left it there on purpose…?

Anyway, I met up with my friend JS. Yay! Haven’t seen her in so long. She took a long time to get her books, but it’s so cool that our lockers are literally right next to each other. She also has five textbooks, and we probably have at least two classes together.

Which reminds me that I had to change my schedule. After I got it, I realized that I didn’t have Accounting II on it, and had Computer Maintenance instead. I freaked out and went to my counselor, who explained that I couldn’t take Accounting II and AP Calculus BC at the same time, so they’d switched Accounting to my substitute/second choice. So I asked her if I could switch from Calculus BC to AB, and then take Accounting II. She said yes, so I filled out a request form, and that’s that. Hopefully, she’ll email me soon about my new schedule.

It’s probably for the best that I take Calculus AB instead of BC. After all, I have five textbooks to read through for my other classses, and BC is supposed to be a really demanding course. In fact, one of my classmates once told me it was “death”. Also, most (if not all) of my friends are in Calculus AB anyway, so I can chill with them in class.

My friend’s sister (a different sister than the one I met when we went to the volunteering event together) was really nice and drove me home. Which was fantastic, since it was deadly hot and sunny outside. Also, I was wearing all black, since I’m on my period, and I always wear black pants during my period just in case. My painkillers are having a really strong effect on me, by the way, and I’m really weak and have only eaten one slice of buttered toast and two more painkillers since yesterday afternoon. I’m not hungry. I just feel sick, and I lost about three hours of sleep because I kept feeling like I was going to throw up, even though I was lying completely still. The problem is, though, that if I don’t take the pills, I am incapacitated by cramps and heavy bleeding. Honestly, the shit I have to go through every month… I should get a medal for walking to and from school while on my period.


I’m really jittery for no reason. Oh, well, the reason is probably the fact that I haven’t eaten anything but a slice of toast during the entire day, and am running on painkillers and mild cramps and nasty room-temp water. I can’t stand water that isn’t cold, which is probably one of the traits that make me an American, along with my nasally American voice, my passport and birth certificate, and my radical beliefs in equality and freedom. I think often of my identity as a Chinese-American now, what with all the clashes happening in this country, and I think deep down there’s so much of me that is American, even though another big part is Chinese, and there’s yet another part that is a weird roiling mixture of both. The US has cultural conflicts; so do I. I guess I wouldn’t be the same if I didn’t have the same internal cultural struggle.


Hey, here’s a deep truth about me, given to me from a fun Buzzfeed quiz: 

You got: Ambitious but you’re insecure
You’ve got a ton of adventures planned for yourself but you often get stuck on where to begin. And we totally understand! The act of sitting down and planning something out can be really daunting. Your mind is always thinking up these creative and adventurous ideas, but when it gets down to actually doing something, you have a tendency to freeze up. Try avoiding this frustration by focusing on one small project at a time!

I think it’s pretty accurate.

Song: Сергей Рахманинов – Сирень. I’m writing this down only because I don’t know how to type in Russian.

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