Healing On my Own-#6-I don’t feel like doing anything.

This morning, or rather, the last few days I haven’t been feeling my best. I haven’t felt like exercising, I don’t feel excited about it either.

I sort of feel very numb, maybe it’s depression? I’m really not going to jump to that conclusion just yet, it could just be one of those bad days.I just feel very sad and frustrated.Melancholy.

I’m going to try not to overthink it, since that only makes it worse usually.I really feel like the worst person in the entire world, no, worst person in the entire existence of humans.I feel like I’m very stupid too, even if I haven’t done anything stupid(at least not that I know of).

Today is such a nice day too, I don’t want to ruin it for me or anyone else.To be honest, I’m a bit jealous of the guy who abused me. Maybe because he’s ahead of me in so many ways. It feels like he’s really doing a lot better than I ever will reach. Something they said about him this morning just set everything off.

Not to mention how much everyone likes him. I wish I could make them like me just as much, if not more.

It’s fine though, I don’t need a bunch of people to adore me or shower me with some sort of admiration. I don’t need anyone to be on my side.I don’t need that at all to be happy, but seeing him like that just makes me angry.

Either way, it’s okay to be angry with him, that’s not my fault. I just will try  to not to let him control me.

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