I Forgive (But I Won’t Forget Your Name)

I have had such a rubbish day! I usually do but urgh. I have recently got a will sorted, since I have Harry now and the solicitor who did my will for me offered to do my parents wills too at a discount price if they needed one done. When I told my mum I was getting mine done she said she really needed to revise her and dads so she took up the offer and so the solicitor has come to our house a number of times to do that. Obviously I don’t have much at all lol so only took like three visits but my parents have had like four or five over theirs!

Anyway the solicitor is a really nice, friendly man and said he was genuinely interested in other peoples lives and the situations they were in. He was asking if Harry saw his dad and I decided to share that Harry’s dad took me to court despite seeing Harry every week anyway and having an open invitation to the house any time to see Harry, all he had to do was ask. Harry had a dirty nappy and I had to go sort that out but my mum is still very angry at Will about all that has happened so she carried on talking. By the time I came back downstairs the solicitor and my mum were huddled around his mobile; he was working out something on an official government child maintenance site. My mum had told him Harry’s dad never ever told me how much he earned, that his parents did the calculations and that £100 would be the amount. The solicitor thought this was very wrong and he did a calculation for someone who earned £24,000 a years and so they would have to pay their child £240 a month. The solicitor said Will would only have to earn £10,000 a year to warrant paying only £100 a month which he didn’t think was likely in this country. He said I needed to get this sorted because what was going on was very wrong, against Harry!

So I asked the blunt question how much he earned a year and he didn’t reply. Then I said for him to bring proof of what he earns when him and his parents drop Harry back at my house on Sunday and we calculate it together. This time he does reply and says that he has to be honest with me but he was made redundant (again) but this was a couple of months ago. I’m sure what he is saying is true but he didn’t answer the first question, more he was lucky he was fired so was able to avoid answering at all. I was honest to Will since he usually isn’t and said I spoke to a solicitor who had advised me the amount he was paying Harry didn’t seem right at all, and after the court case costing me £3000 when Harry and myself get less than £2000 a year I really needed to check this one out.

Not sure what to do next really. Will clearly avoided answering the main question by admitting he had been fired which he wouldn’t have admitted if I hadn’t cornered him by asking to do things as they should have been done without his parents doing the calculations fir him and me not knowing what his earnings ever were 🙁 I don’t know what to think. Obviously something is going on for him otherwise he wouldn’t have been fired from his last two jobs in the space of two years but he is avoiding telling me what he earned before. It’s my right to know. He’s all up for his own rights but doesn’t want any responsibilities. He wanted an abortion, he never told his parents I was pregnant till I was 8 months pregnant, he was seeing Harry all the time and didn’t pay any child maintenance for 15 months yet took me to court when I was visiting my family in Mexico after my mum was cleared of cancer and apart from all that he wasn’t giving Harry the amount he deserved. And Will calls himself a dedicated father. What worse is he said because he had no money that I could ask his fucking parents for anything for Harry and they’d be ‘more than happy to help.’ Then he says £2000 is not much at all and what benefits do me & Harry get. What benefits I get is none of anyone else’s business but mine but fine I can tell him what Harry gets in benefits. Wants to know what benefits I personally get but never says what he earns.

Oh Will just makes me feel so ill. I can’t believe he created such a beautiful, sensitive child with me. Poor Harry really. Urgh, Will is such a loser. Why did he bother contacting me after years by getting facebook to help him send me a message on there as I had him blocked completely for years. I never wanted to see him ever and I was making damn sure he would never come back but he does a small deal with facebook I don’t know what the fuck he did but maybe I should take fucking facebook to court over this one. Letting an idiot I never wanted to hear from again get back in contact with me when I had him blocked, I even rang three mobile and got his number permanently blocked to the number I was using at the time. I was very ill back then and kept breaking my phones so I’ve had a few since then and a new number. Ok I guess if Will had never wormed his way back in to my life and ignored the fact I replied to his message after years that I was currently sectioned in Whitchurch Hospital which I was at the time I received his Facebook message and that should have been like a stop sign for him but he probably was taking advantage, I let him…I would never have had Harry exactly as he is now. Harry wouldn’t have existed. The only thing that can make talking to his dad just about bearable.

Urgh just read about the latest terrorist attack in Barcelona… *crying face* keep all these people in your prayers…using vehicles as weapons is becoming an easy but devastating method of just killing as many people as they fucking can it’s disgusting…urgh 🙁

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