Dreams[梦想]

Hello! Well this feels awkward because I’m writing (well typing but oh well) as if someone will read this. Over the past few months a lot has happened and by a lot I mean a lot. I can probably guarantee that 99.9% of you don’t have a single clue of who I am and such. I find that most interesting, people documenting their life on here is quite fascinating, if I do say so myself! So I though wouldn’t it be fun to write and share about my life on here as well. You see I don’t even know if anyone is going to read this but it’s fun! For the past 9-10 months I’ve been searching the right career path for me (even though I’m fourteen the pressure is on)it seems as if everyone has had their life ahead of them planned and sorted. Well that’s what I thought. Picking and choosing your GCSE shouldn’t be stressful but somehow I managed to turn it stressful (because I’m such an over thinker). You may be reading this thinking, kid you’re only picking subjects to study and they’re not that important, where as I’ve got work to go to, bills to pay, family to take care, etc etc… True but for me last December involved a lot thinking,crying,screaming etc etc… I was confused on what I wanted to do. I was confused on picking the wrong subjects. I want to do something performing arts. I want to become an actress. A singer. A dancer. I want to do those jobs but everyday by my parents I’m told that my sister is doing a high payed job and my brother graduated from so and so university. Oh, may I add they’re my half brother and sisters, I’ve also never met them. Being compared to people that I’ve never met is quite annoying. I sometimes wish I was smarter like them. Last December I told my mum I would like to be an actress and my feedback wasn’t great. Let’s fast forward to to March. I told my parents this time that I would like to go into the performing arts industry. Again not positive feedback. I remembered when I was doing my LAMDA exam my drama teacher gave so much encouragement that made feel confident in performing. That’s when I truly thought. I can do this. Without that pep talk I had from my teacher and praise she would often give me I wouldn’t have the confident in believing in myself. Sorry for side tracked… Anyways days went on and I suddenly discovered K-pop, at first I thought nothing of it but as days went on I revisited these idols again and again. I suddenly had the urge to look into idols. Their training, their work ethic and such. And can I say I love it. Not anyone can be a star, you go through intensive training and hardcore schedules to even debut. It’s not all sunshines and rainbows. In the western side you could upload a video and say “Damn Daniel, back at it again with the white vans” (its old but still reference needed) to be famous. You get me? I truly love performing. I’ve always thought acting would be my thing and is the only performing art sort opened for me. I’ve never had a nice voice or amazing dancing skills. But when you realise you want something you strive for it. You go for it. It seems impossible because I’m living in the UK, I’m not Korean, I’m already 14 years old (people train at a young age), I don’t have an amazing talent in singing or dancing but I want it. I want it more than anything. When I told my parents they looked straight into my eyes and said “Don’t chase after unachievable dreams” “don’t waste your time” “stop being naive” on the 13th June I fully I understand that not everyone is going to support me and be happy about my decisions but what matters is that I believe in myself. Times where I’ve wanted to give up I think back to that day and thank my parents for not supporting me because I’d rather learn that now than later.   

Wow that was a whole bunch of random things but that’s my life right now and I’ll work hard to become a trainee and debut. Create meaningful music and be in a group of people that not only have a passion for music but create music that impacts the world positively. 

—E x

2 thoughts on “Dreams[梦想]”

  1. I’m reading! and I love this. im 19 but I remember being in a very similar position as you when 14, not being korean, living in the UK, wanting to joing kpop! I didnt but i’m so happy with where I am right now. so no matter what you end up doing I hope you’ll be happy 🙂

  2. Thank you so much for reading! You have no idea how much that means to me to hear you’ve been in the same situation! I’m so happy to hear that you’ve moved on to great things and you’re enjoying yourself! I’ll work hard to achieve my dreams and just remember your message has made my day ( it’s currently now 00:44 but oh well) once again thank you

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