I can’t remember the last time I had a nightmare.  It must have been years ago.  I have plenty of dreams, just no nightmares.  Maybe that’s because my life is one big nightmare.  No need to go scaring myself in my sleep when I do that plenty when I’m awake.  I was upset about Tyler again last night.  He had said yet again that he wanted to hangout after he had dinner with his friends and I didn’t get a call until 1130pm by then I was sleeping and didn’t get it until the next morning.  I called him in the morning and told him I was upset with him and asked what the hell was going on and if he had lost interest or something.  He said he didn’t and that he was going through a lot of stress and was depressed and all this and that.  As much as I want to believe him, I don’t.  I mean maybe it is true but I feel like if he really truly liked me he would want to find a way to hangout with me or at least talk to me more about it.  I’m just exhausted and done with this whole thing.  I’ve cried over it more times than I’d like and I don’t deserve to feel this way…especially someone who isn’t even my boyfriend!  So for now, I’m just gonna distance myself from him and just do me.  By that I mean sleep with as many different guys as I can.  Sure it’s probably not the best idea and it won’t make me feel any better but it’s all I’ve got right now and it’s almost the least destructive option I can think of right now.  So tonight I’m finally going out with some friends from work for a few drinks and it’s much needed.  My objective is to get at least one number from a decent looking guy.  Thankfully my period is acting as a chastity belt right now.  Oh yeah and another thing, this morning Tyler said he’d love to see me tonight (i swear he’s like a broken record) and I said I had plans (even though I didn’t at the time) but he said if anything changed to keep him posted.  So when I invited him out tonight he said he had dinner plans and was going out with his friends.  So how was he supposed to hangout with me tonight if he already had plans?  Whatever he sucks.  I’m so gonna hit on every single guy in the bar tonight.  It’s gonna be a bad night. 

One thought on “Nightmares”

  1. I mean, do whatever what makes you cope. I feel like he is just leading you on.. Its pretty obvious, he invites you to go somewhere when he has plans with someone else? Cmon man… You deserve way better.

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