Two Girls… (Part One)

5 and a half years ago, I was a nobody. I, in high school terms, was a wallflower. No friends, no acquaintances, teachers hated me including the principal(I was very unpopular). I was easily bullied around as well. So my happiest days would include when someone talks to me in school. It’s not like I was socially awkward or anything, it’s just that I didn’t carry that charm that a person possesses that makes another want to come and talk to him/her. I was… let’s be brutal – fat. No, I wasn’t naturally fat where you blame the genes and it’s all muscle. No. I was unhealthy fat. No one in my blood relation is unhealthy. I would blame myself and only myself for what I was back then because of the food I consumed without proper ways to burn it all. I couldn’t make a conversation, I didn’t have a sense of humor, I was just blah

After three years of full torture and suffering, from rejections to academic failures to getting beaten up things took a turn for good. Even now I think it was all planned from above. Anyways, I came to a different country altogether so I had an opportunity to start fresh. 

From day one, things worked smoothly for me. I made new friends immediately and then there was a girl. The kind you see only in movies perhaps? Let’s call her Anna. I’ll describe her a bit. So Anna is about a year younger to me. Jet black hair, sharp features, especially her eyes were like that of a baby’s. She was an athlete, a badminton champion but so down to earth. She saw no tomorrow in her days. She was a risk-taker, a loving and responsible daughter/sister. She was religious and also an amazing dancer. I don’t know why I put those traits together. Anyways, she did have a short temper, though that was the time when you’d find her to be in the most adorable state. In gaming terms, she was my boost at that time. All I needed to turn my life around and the best part is, it required no effort from my side. We got along pretty well I say. She approached me in every way and made me into who I am today. 

So in my first week in the new country, I went to a foundation course with her on the art of living. With her and her amazing personality besides me, it was more than enough to get us to know people and make acquaintances. Little did I know, I’d be in the same room as all the other remaining girls I would be in a relationship within the next one and a half years, including the second girl, who I would like to call Sarah. 

Sarah at that time was the opposite of Anna. About 2 years younger to me, she was astonishingly smart and gorgeous, tall, dark brown hair and her cheeks had these very tiny freckles which I found were to be the most attractive trait of her. She was as loving as Anna. She immersed herself in books and her small group of friends. She wasn’t a party girl as Anna was at that time but she was uniquely enchanting.

If Anna was a Supergirl, then Sarah would be a Princess. Their aspirations were on the same lines but their fields differed. On one hand, Anna wanted to work for the betterment of the downtrodden people in Africa and on the other Sarah wanted to be a Neurologist. They both want to fight for people’s lives in their own heroic ways and where ever they are now I am proud of them.

I’m still not sure why I deserved both of them. Even after my transformation in the next 6 months. I lost a hell lot of weight, and in no time I was running cross country and 100-meter dashes and relays. I was winning medals for the school. Initially, I trained in the varsity soccer team for six months to get into the 1st division as a center back. After each match, I was personally reached out by the opposing team players to talk about my skills. I was known to be aggressive and impressively fast in defense and the strikers had a hard time getting me off their tails. I had received my share of yellow cards but surprisingly never a red one. Things were so good that by the time I was in my senior year, I was part of a private soccer club. People loved me, I was popular among people, not too popular because I wasn’t still an all-rounder. I was careless, a girl player and I were known to break hearts. Academically average but with great potential which I never used.

The one girl I still regret breaking her heart was Sarah. She was a stepping stone to gain the bad boy personality I needed in the school in the first few days. I never used her intentionally, it just sort of happened and I did it in the worst way possible. One of my seniors coaxed me into dumping Sarah, in front of her so she could get with me. I didn’t know of my senior’s motive behind it all, but I fairly rejected her after a few days when she asked me out. Sarah didn’t deserve the embarrassment, we had only dated for 4 days, and she was really into me. But even after 5 years since we dated, we still talk to her and wish each other on her anniversary. Though I and Sarah are in the same country at present, we are still thousands of miles apart. I wish I could tell her face to face that how sorry I am.

Sarah has grown into a woman now, she’s not the shy girl she was back in school. She very mature and as dazzling as ever. She still has a tough time keeping boys around her for some reason, and after every bad incident with her boyfriends, she remembers me. I know that because she’s reached out to me a few times through social media after her breakups. I bet she blames me for starting the trend. She’s a passionate companion and she deserves someone like her. Only if were in the same city again, I would have made up to her in every way possible and given her the compassion she deserves.

Now, though Sarah was a stepping stone to my bad boy reputation, Anna was the one who fully molded me into a… pardon my language a dick, that I had become. Our relationship was fully physical at the start. We had affairs and I was barely faithful to any girl I dated, even Anna. Though Anna trusted me, I didn’t return the favor. Ironically I thought I was in love with her, but in reality, it was just possessiveness and all the lust that had accumulated over months. 

I deserved what was coming to me. In the final 6 months of Senior Year, I was fully aware that Anna was cheating on me with my friend. The worst part was she was in complete denial even after I had caught her many times. I was shattered, not in one go but over the period of six months a piece of me was lost each day. I had lost my self to random fever and shivering that occurred every time I went to bed. I had to smoke a pack of cigarette a day to keep my nerves calm. My grades were hit hard and the pain was unbearable. My grades were affected I managed to graduate. I lost many friends in the process. It’s true, your popularity lasts as long as you can fake being cool. I couldn’t anymore. Soccer was great all the way nevertheless, the only thing that kept me from losing my mind. I was juggling an every chance I had and I was unstoppable by the end of senior year. 

Though my life in High School was highly dramatic, I could have had a rather fulfilling sail through it had I not broken up with Sarah. She would have been there for me in every occasion, may that be night parties, my senior prom or my graduation. She would have been right beside me through every thick and thin. The best part was her nerdiness and her faith would have influenced my academic performance and brought out the best in me. We probably would have fallen in love and maybe even told our parents in the next five years. Things could have been perfect just like a Nicholas Sparks movie, leaving out the part where someone dies in the end.

I guess the entry turned out to be too long as now, I shall stop before I blabber more ahead.


Until next time.

Ryan G.

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