Never a Bride

I had a dream last night. I remember going home from vacation and coming back to see the the water from Lake Makatawa covered the whole yard. There was an almost completely underwater playground my little cousins were playing. I then went home to take a test. The SATs I think. Emily was sitting next to me and doing it in crayon. She she showed me three colored pencils and told me she had three teachers for each colored pencil, each of them using a specific color to teach. When I got home, I noticed I was being robbed. I waited outside in a cage with a bunch of animals. At dawn, all the animals died except a large guinea pig. I got out of the cage and went inside, ordering the guinea pig to chase the man. Sally was there and she also chased the man. They chased him upstairs where he met a little white dog who chased all three of them back down. The man ran out of the house. There was another dog in the house named Honey. She was my uncle’s dog. I tried to get he out of the house but she’d ram into me and bite me whenever I tried. I eventually led her onto the porch and shut the door. I called her a bad girl.

The dream ended after that. Not that cool of a dream, but it did remind me of a better dream. So now I have two more dreams I need to tell you, but I’m waited for an uneventful and dreamless day.

Some people think dreams have meaning. I think they do in a sense, but not in some mystical way. I often have dreams about things I think about before I fall asleep or things I’ve been anxious about for days. I’ve heard people say that dreams are just random images and any narrative in a dream is just us trying to make sense of it all when we wake up. I don’t think that’s true for all dreams (probably for some or even most), because I’ve woken up from nightmares about guilt.

Having guilt in that dream required me to do something wrong and then later see my impact. That’s a narrative. And I woke up from it, so I must have been following the narrative in my sleep.

Nothing’s concrete when it comes to things like this, so I’d never say I knew for sure.

I didn’t learn too much in world history today, but it was still enjoyable. I think it’s going to be my favorite class this year. I’m thinking I should read Guns, Germs, and Steel in it’s entirety. I only had to read three chapters for the assignment but I kinda want to read more. I also want to read this one book about John Adams that my dad likes. He said that John Adams was his favorite president.

He sounds like a cool dude. My grandpa on my dad’s side was telling me about this one book called The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat. I want to read that too.

I should read more.

Since I’m trying to make myself healthy with this journal, getting myself to read more can be another thing I add to the list. I should also read more of the Bible and Quran. Just to educate myself a bit more on that type of thing.

In theology we had to answer a bunch of questions on the board. I was the first to finish because I didn’t need to overthink some of the seemingly profound questions like everybody else did. One of the less stupid questions was why the church is referred to with feminine pronouns. The answer was that the church was Jesus’ bride.

“Until recently in this country, the bride was always female.”

I stifled a laugh. What was she talking about? Aren’t they still always female? Am I missing something? I mean, I know she doesn’t believe in the whole infinite genders mumbo jumbo. Is she one of those people who thinks every relationship has to have a man and a woman? All I can imagine now is a dude in a wedding gown and that scene from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

“I don’t want to be the woman, Charlie, and I don’t want to see you be the woman.”

“That’s insa… Neither of us would be the woman, dude. We would both be men. We’d be two cool straight dudes married together.”

“Two dudes getting married? That doesn’t sound very gay.”

The rest of theology class I got to relax and do things on my iPad. I got all my homework done in math. Well, Miles got all my homework done in math. He solved most of the problems in his head. It was ridiculous. Our group was the first done. In fact, we the only group to finish during class, and we had about ten minutes to spare. In P.E. we played volleyball, so my arms are all red.

Are Miley Cyrus and Britney Spears the same person?

I hid in my special new bathroom during lunch and studied for my chemistry quiz. It was harder to study for because all my notes got deleted. The biggest stall furthest down has a broken lock so it can’t be used. The stall closest the the door (the one I’m using now), has a toilet with a hair trigger. Move a little bit and it flushes. I’ll have to check the second and third stalls next time I get a chance.

In speech we started a group project about our book. We have until Thursday, which is a surprisingly short amount of time. Dr. Di told us to raise our hand if we liked working in groups. Everybody rose their hand except for me. I told her I didn’t like working in groups because either everybody does better than me and I feel guilty for not being able to contribute or everybody does worse than me and they won’t listen to my input. Max is in my group for this project. He loves arguing with me, except he doesn’t have fun arguing like I do. He’s kind of a buzzkill about it.

After school I weighed myself. 140 on the dot. I think I should stop weighing myself everyday. I’ll weigh myself again next Tuesday. That’s the 29th. I had some leftover steak after that. Then I did my history homework. It’s due Thursday but I decided to do it today because I have no other homework.

I’m getting better!

While doing my history homework, I learned a new word: fallow. I love learning new words. I just wanted to put that down so I’d remember it. I even have a few favorite words. Mortar, dormant, oblivion, waxwing, canvas, etc.

Note to self: Remember to look at those service hours sheets tomorrow! You should also start with your reading!

Good night.

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