breakup affecting my work

Today i had work at 6 o’clock and had to wake up at 4, when i woke up my first thought as it is everyday was of my ex, the pain of not speaking to her was killing me so i went against my better judgement and messaged her, just something simple so i just asked if she was doing ok. Which of course she decided to blank which is ok i didn’t expect anything else just cudnt stop thinking bout her so wanted to know she was alright. Then when i started work at 6 i just completely broke down for no reason then for the rest of the day i couldn’t stop thinking about her and kept breaking down constantly through out the day. I spoke with my sister briefly on my break speaking about what had been happening but that didnt help, nobody really knows what to say to me because they know nothing they say can possibly make a difference or ease the pain that im feeling. I see the pictures she uploads and she looks happy, probably moved on and forgot about me already but i just cant seem to do that. Makes me wonder if she ever truly loved me in the way that i love her. She’s hurt me in ways most people cant even imagine and still she’s the only thing i want in this world, i don’t know if this means im just in love or just an idiot but i cant stop these feelings. I started this as just a way to vent my emotions as iv never been the type of guy who is easily able to do so, hopefully this will help in some sort of way. 

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