Tuesday August 22nd

My table that I ordered in June is finally finished and has been shipped. I don’t even care now. I am very homesick for Noah today. I don’t know what I’m doing here. I’ve been thinking about how I can use my life to help others- beyond just at my job- you know, instead of just ending my life, I should make my life matter by helping people. Maybe that is what I was supposed to do. Maybe that’s why I cannot find anyone to date. Maybe I was meant to be alone so I could do something helpful to others. I don’t fucking know. I am probably just crazy. 

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