Today I finally cracked.  I finally had enough of tip-toeing on peoples’ feelings.  I was in a doctor’s office after a surgery that hasn’t healed properly.  Across from me was a person who embodied the living stereotype of a festival hippie.  And she looked like shit.  

People always say “Don’t judge so and so based on how they look”, and damn if I don’t do my best, being someone who was heavily judged growing up for how I look, but this person decided to let everyone in the waiting room listen to her music.  At that moment, I just snapped.  I stopped caring entirely.  So I went on facebook and vented.  I said things about this person that, to be honest, I don’t regret one bit.  And suddenly, every other people I knew, people I have drank with and have listened to on multiple occasions suddenly though that I was this terrible person.  The one even acted like a mother.  “This behavior is very disappointing.” No, what is disappointing is that someone actually thought that I would give a forth of a shit if I had disappointed them or not.

I just can’t care anymore.  Outside of my significant other and maybe two people, I just don’t care.  I’m drained now.  I’ve always been the one that stays out of the drama, and lately it seems like everyone is bringing me into it.  Our new roomie, while a good friend, unfortunately had a shitty roomie who basically screwed him over.  Now he lives with us because I’ll be damned if he will end up homeless.  He helps around the house, helps with food and the like, so I’m not too bothered.  But it is because of someone else’s shitty decision that my circumstances ended up like this.

I have a mental illness, yes.  But I am so sick and tired of hearing about how everyone has panic attacks or are self-diagnosing themselves with PTSD because they had a bad divorce from a person who simply fell for someone else.  Or that they allowed a person who robbed them of all of their possessions back into their lives because “One day they’ll change.”  I’m tired of being told to be patient when people can’t even be patient with me.  

So today I judged a hippie and got reamed for it.  And I don’t feel bad at all.  I honestly don’t.  She was being rude and was barefoot in a dentist office.  Fuck her.  

2 thoughts on “Martyrs”

  1. Dude, you have no reason to be sorry or feel bad. Everyone judges and its so stupid of people to judge you based on your ranting. Everyone rants and has a bad day. At least you didn’t explode in the hippies face and ended up in jail for harassment or something stupid. Fuck everyone is what I say.

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