There is a great sadness that lives deep inside of me
I work so fucking hard to hide it so that others will not be able to see.
It slowly eats away at me and completely ruins my day
at times it just makes me distant then other times things I dare not say.
This is not who I want to be, the one full of sadness and feeling down
I feel like my head is being held under water and feel I’m going to drown.
I’m struggling and thrashing trying to break free
gasping for air as I surface my mind full of debris.
Choking and coughing reaching out blindly I grasp
but the sadness will not give in nor loosen her clasp.
Some days are harder than others when it begins to rampage freely
I’m pleading for someone to just make it stop the ones who need me ideally.
I am being held captive in my own body and against my will
someone please come save me because my mind is set on overkill.
Dark thoughts run freely while they creep and spread into my veins
spinning out of control taking over my mind or what little bit remains.
Please know I’m not as crazy as you make think nor am I as insane
But my mind, soul, and spirit are broken and I am just in so much pain.
Please forgive me for any wrong I have done or the ways I made you feel
I just need a new life I need a new me someone where no one knows me would be ideal.