I am tired. You know I never ask anyone for help. My parents disowned me 18 years ago and they have never met their 18-year-old granddaughter. I’ve cried myself to sleep for years yet I still get up in the morning and work my tail off. I teach my daughter that no matter how many lemons are thrown, you can always find a way to make some lemonade. Sometimes, the lemonade may not be as sweet as you like but you tried. And now, here I am unemployed and uncomfortable in my own skin. I am unsure of the direction I need to go. I am frustrated because I have always been self-sufficient and now I feel lost. Not sure which way to go from here – need some guidance. I don’t need your pity. I am praying and writing because I am grateful for this life and also pissed at the same time. I think I am more pissed about recently seeing my parents after 18 years and my mom couldn’t even give me a proper hug. Why is it that she can’t forgive me for having a child out of wedlock? Why is she so unforgiving? I understand her anger but don’t understand how a mother can hold a grudge for 18 years. She didn’t even ask about her granddaughter – such a shame. I am so disappointed that I came from her womb. I will never treat my daughter that way. Never. I pray that you provide me with some peace so I can move on. I feel like I am the failure even though I tried to talk to her and hug her. It’s crazy that this 40-year-old woman craves the love of her mom that never even loved her. I just don’t understand. This just breaks my heart. Please guide me, I don’t like being weak.