I should be feeling something, emotion of some sort? instead I’m numb, numb from the pain, and numb from all the thinking. But deep down under all of the numbness, I’m sad, the color black daunting on all the color surrounding me. I’m as blue as blue could be.

I thought liking you would be easy, in-fact perhaps walk in a park? especially since we live in two different countries, two different hemispheres, and two completely different time zones. I thought I wouldn’t worry about as much as I would. But I was wrong, I should own up to how I feel to you, I’ve been thinking on how I can pour everything out, and let you know everything I want and how I feel about you.

But the truth is I can’t.

It just wouldn’t work. Fear and anxiety control me now. 

I’m still coming to terms with liking you, and I wish I could deny it, but I can’t anymore, it hurts, but that won’t matter soon, right? I’ll move on and it’ll be a fragment of my memory, you won’t have to know, and I won’t have to admit anything. 

Just friends right?. 

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