Here we go again

I got pretty close to 1 or maybe 2 hours of sleep last night.  I didn’t even go out.  I wanted to really bad because I had today off and I wanted to go out and get crazy and get to be hungover all day today.  Well, minus the hangover but you get what I mean.  Instead I watched videos of this comedian doing impressions which had me cracking up and in a pretty good mood so it kind of got me off my one track mind of going out.  Then for a good part of the night afterwards I was talking to a bunch of dudes and sexting with two…one of whom was Tyler.  Yes, the guy that I said was pretty much dead to me.  I pretty much go back and forth on this guy.  One day I’ll hate him, one day I’ll hate him not so much.  Maybe a part of me likes that I can’t have him or likes getting hurt or whatever.  Something about the chase?  Anyways, I’m still not gonna act like he’s anything special, I was after all sexting with another guy at the same time.  I got some pictures, I sent some pictures, it was pretty fun but it got me so worked up I couldn’t fucking sleep all night long.  I would think about sex, then think about other things, and it just went on and on like that all night.  So Tyler says he wants to hangout tonight but you know how that goes…he always says he wants to hangout then nothing happens.  This time I think he will because lets just say I’ve given him a lot to think about.  I really don’t even care if we just have sex tonight.  For once I’m not interested in anything he has to say.  I’m done trying to be all relationshippy with him.  Maybe it just was never meant to be that way.  Plus, I’ve got other guys I’m talking to so it helps that he’s not my only option.  In other news, today I have off so I don’t plan on doing much.  Maybe going for a swim at the gym.  Lately it seems like I’ve been boycotting the gym since I’ll drive freakin 2 hours just to go for a hike instead of a 5 minute drive that will probably give me the same result.  It won’t be as beautiful or relaxing though…well until I get lost.  Then after that I don’t have any plans.  I’m excited for the weekend because I finally get to see one of my good friends who never ever ever goes out and I can talk to her about everything!  We have a girls night planned tomorrow and then she wants to go out again on Saturday night.  I just have to get through work tomorrow which could prove a challenge but at least there’s something to look forward to!  

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