The List is replaced again

I live my life by lists ,that are then replaced by another list with a footnote to refer back to list one and so on.

To make sense of my day I have to have a list otherwise it’s chaos,not remembering what I am supposed to be doing.

I guess it started when I was a kid and Mother was at work she would leave me a list of things to do when I got home from school every day.

Then when I was about 19 and a mother I was married to an abusive man so I ended up having a mental breakdown.To get through those days I had a list which even included having a shower and brushing my teeth ! Each item was ticked off as I done them.But I think that made it worse in a way because then I became obsessed with the daily list especially if I hadn’t completed today’s tasks.It was a help but a hindrance as well as I would add things to the lists making them near impossible to do in one 24 hour period.

I am in control of my lists now but still rely on them daily to make sure I don’t forget something important,gone are the have a shower entries and other things that are automatic now .

People that are around know about my lists and will tell my to look at my list if I say something like ‘did I pay the electric bill ? ‘

I even carry a note book in my bag just in case I think of something important that needs doing as you know that time you get home it would of vanished from your mind.

How do people survive without lists ? I am well aware that this isn’t normal for most of the humans I meet but it keeps me happy .

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