When is a friend not a friend ?

Who can you trust these days ?

Even my so called best friends that I have known for years and years have let me down.

My oldest friend who we met at school all those years ago and have been through births,deaths and marriages together ,hardships of homelessness and having no money to feed the kids along with sharing some laughs and good times together.A time when all our kids grew up together and regarded each other as brothers and sisters but this friend managed to kill our friendship with one sentence when she said no to me as her job was more important.

She seemed to  forget that I had been there for her ,no questions asked and no thought for my own problems as I always helped her .Take the day the police knocked when we was 24 to say her husband had been killed in an accident.Remember how I put my life on hold to be there for you for weeks and weeks as you was a sobbing heap on the sofa that didn’t move ? Who was it that looked after your kids ,your house ,you ! 

Remember when your baby died ? Who was there again looking after you and your children and your house again.Who had the job of  keeping your hospital bag of bloody clothes in my house out of your sight as you were to distraught ? It was six months before you asked where that bag was and I dug it out of the back of my cupboard.Who helped bathe you the day of the funeral even though the tears stung my eyes as This is a day no parent should ever have to do.Your pain was my pain.

Who did I run to when my first husband beat me ,who helped me and my children when we needed it ? You did .

There are a million other memories but I don’t need to list them all.

Yes we survived and carried on ,friends forever ..the good ,bad and ugly but now nothing.You don’t exist in my life at all ,you are not on my quick call button on my phone ,you are not on my friends list ,you do not figure in my life at all.Everything washed away like yesterday’s dinner plate.

I asked you do one thing for me but because you had worked your way up high at work ,senior management no less .We celebrated ,we partied,we holidayed ,finally our lives were getting better.We had our own houses ,we had money, our kids all were doing well but it had changed you and you was going to make sure nothing would ever risk your job not even me .One signature on a piece of paper that’s all I needed to say that I was a good honest person that you had known personally for a long time but apparently that was to much to ask .

So here endeth a friendship ,a sisterhood ,a lifelong bond .

Friend 2 …

having known him for almost 20 years and trusted him 110% he has now broke my trust.

My Father died a few weeks ago ,a really sad time with a lot to do.I haven’t had time to grieve as the endless paperwork ,arrangements and seeing to my aged dementia taken Mother I relied on my friend to help me and he has.Hes been my rock when my world has been falling apart around me .So I trust him to go to Dads house to sort stuff out for me but then again I have been a fool.

My daughter stayed at her grandads house for a few days to help and it came to light some things are missing.Said friend casually told us he had one item ,he borrowed it weeks ago when Dad first died.So why not tell me then ? His excuse was he took it to clean it up and see if it worked.So why not tell me then ? If daughter hadn’t of noticed would he of said anything ? The fact is he stole from me and now has the hump with me because I confronted him,we found out his secret.How many other times has he taken from me ? I trusted him with my bank card ,my cash ,my house ,my kids and now Dads house ,money ,possessions.

It has broken my heart to think someone would do this to me when he knows I would give him anything if he just asked.I never took him for granted,I always paid him when he done jobs around the house for me or Dad and when he was sick I would sit up with him and nurse him till he was well again.

So where do we go from here ? I still want his friendship as we go together like ying and yang but that degree of trust is in pieces .He knows it as yesterday he said he knows I don’t trust him now …no shit Sherlock! 

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