[56] ~*Fri – 09/01/17*~

[9:33 pm]

It was cold today. Was sorta nice for a change. It also rained, didn’t have much of that this summer. Watch it rain next week as we’re going camping. That would be just my luck. I didn’t really checked the weather so I don’t really know if it’s supposed to be nice or not but I sure hope so. It didn’t rain of the summer and of course, it probably will next week. Oh well..

I’ve talked to my client that doesn’t want to do Mondays anymore and she said it was because she was running out of excuses of why she was cancelling. That’s okay! She doesn’t need the hours and she gave me a lot of free hours during the summer so I am thankful for that. I just hope I will get another client to replace her time as I haven’t yet. I also haven’t heard from the Halfway House which is kind of making me sad. I might try to contact the guy by phone once we’re back from vacation. It might be too late then but at least I’d let him know that I’m still interested for next time when he gets more job opportunities.

Anyways, I came home between my two clients this morning and of course I went to bed to try to get some more sleep. I felt like I didn’t sleep at all as I was looking at the time every 10-15 minutes. I had time to have some dreams though so obviously I did sleep somewhere. I just wish I could stop looking at the darn time and just sleep.

I was looking at my hair today and it seems worse than ever. The purple is so blah. I still have a little more than two weeks to go. It just seems like the color is going away even if I don’t wash it. If only it wasn’t so expensive, I would get the purple touched up every month instead of two months when I do my whole head. Oh well.. people still says they love the color of my hair. In my head I’m like “have you seen my roots? where the color if all faded?”.

I went and filled up both cars today as the gas is supposed to go up. This is crazy! It went up 5 cents already yesterday and they are saying that it will go up another 9 cents at midnight. 

So yea.. life is a hard game. You move forward one step but then back up two. I had to spend a lot of money yesterday to pay those windows and doors. I also booked the tree house for next week. Today I paid the bills and filled up the cars. Next week we won’t be paid as both of us aren’t paid for vacation time. Hub stayed home today cause his back hurt too much. He said he felt like a car had ran him over. He wanted to go to the clinic but I told him they probably can’t help him there, that he’d need to go to the hospital for that. He said he would go later when he’d get up but who knows when that will be. I just hope he feels better tomorrow cause this will really sucks if he still feels this way Mon and we can’t go camping. I already paid and I don’t know how long before you have to cancel. I told my friend she might have to come camping with me. I just really hope that he will feel better when he gets up.

Beside that, I felt sorta sad earlier today. I went to the office to drop off my paperwork and pick up my paycheck and the girl that is sorta my supervisor was there. She’s on maternity leave right now. She was at the office with her little girl which is like five months and that just made me sad. I don’t know! This girl is a few years older than me and she didn’t have kids so for some reason it made me feel better about not having kids. As I wasn’t the only one at my age. But now she does so it hurts to see people my age and younger have kids when I don’t. On top of that, when I was at the club someone asked me if I had kids, I said no. She looked at me and was like “aren’t ya married?!”. Why is it that people always associate marriage with children. I guess because I can’t have children I’m more aware of the hurt it can bring a woman who can’t have some with those type of questions. When I ask someone if they are married, I never ask if they have children. I don’t know. I just don’t know how when you tell someone you are married they will automatically ask how many kids you have. Then you respond saying you don’t have any and they straight up ask why not. You tell them that you can’t have children and then they are like “oh” as if they made a mistake asking. I don’t really like talking about it, especially not with strangers. I just feel that when you tell people you are married and just don’t have children they look at you funny as if you shouldn’t be married if you didn’t want children so I feel I have to give them the reason why I don’t have any. Blah!

One good thing I’m looking forward to, tomorrow is my last day of work then I have a week of vacation. Woot! Again, I just really hope hub will feel better and that we won’t have to cancel our camping cause then I will be super disappointment as for some reason I can’t relax when I stay here, I need to go away. For me, camping let’s me escape my life which I really need right now.




Leave a Comment: