An experiential memory~

Please enjoy a very small read that I wrote based upon a fond memory I have of being a child. Explaining my appreciation of it, and the safeness it gave me. 


I said maaaaybbeeeeeeee, you’re gonna be the one that saves me… and after all… you’re my wonderwall.

I often think to myself of my earlier days. The semi dark bedroom walls, with nothing but the golden and red glimmers of the setting sun. They would slowly and quietly fill the room with more darkness as I lay there trying to fall asleep. Is it odd this is one of the many things I miss about being a child. I miss being sent to bed early when the sun wasn’t even down yet nor moon in the sky. My eyes closing with the setting sun. The warmth of my room cradling me. I even remember the position that would be most comfy for myself at the time in my bed to be able to sleep.
I’m guessing I was probably around 4 years old. My room was the last door on your right in that small hallway with the closet at the end of it. With my mom’s being directly across. Beside mine was my younger brothers room, who was about 3 at the time. Across from his, the washroom.

I will probably always hold this near and dear to me. I don’t know why I love that part or memory of my childhood so much. I wish I could relive it, knowing and feeling the way, I do now. Just so I could appreciate it.

I recall getting so upset when I’d get sent to bed, I would think to myself “The sun isn’t even down yet! It’s not dark I don’t need to sleep yet” I often would sneakily open my door to listen to my mom talk or see and listen to what my older siblings were watching on the tv as it was just down the famous hallway I’ve just mentioned. Sometimes, I would play with my toys, I would go through what I all did that day in my little child brain as I lay there, I would even evaluate what I learned that day as young as I was. I would repeat what I was told that day by my parents or siblings, even my teacher, who I still remember her name, Mrs. H**** (name censored for personal reasons).
I didn’t need to fall asleep with worries this young, I didn’t end my day with stressing myself til I finally close my eyes as I do now. Even though I am only 20 now. I’m sure as I grow so will my problems and stresses, but as of now, in this moment in time, it’s never going to be the exact way I remember falling asleep as a child. Although I will not feel bad about it, nor be upset about it. I am grateful for this amazing memory of mine that I hold. I will always, dearly and nearly hold this to my heart.

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