Tired

 

Before I start I wonder how to lock the font to the setting I want ? It flicks back to its original setting every time I start a new sentence.

Its so annoying as the original set is so small .

Anyway I can’t be bothered to keep resetting it today .

Said friend was ill last night …severe migraine and sickness so ended up sleeping in my room on the spare bed.All night I was aware he was in my room ,I could hear his breathing and snoring even the dog was disturbed by him there.

Me and the dog have our night routine .I tell her it’s time for bed and she goes out for her night wee then checks every room in the house before jumping on my bed and settling down .She then hogs most of the bed before sleeping all night ,nothing wakes her not thunder,foxes screeching outside,cats fighting,people shouting as they walk home drunk but last night she couldn’t settle and kept staring at him from the end of the bed to across the room.

Now said friend is the one that stole from my Dads house – if you read that entry – so it’s funny how I am angry with him and now he’s sick so will get my full attention.

Yep I am a fool again.

Anyway I need to write more later as said friend is awake 

So he stumbled about being this sick person still so I made dinner and tidied up while he weakly asked if he could help.Geez I sound bitter and twisted but part of me is still angry at him even if I need him here .How much of his illness is real ,can I trust him now ?

Hes asleep again now and I’m left alone with my thoughts and muddled mind.

Its been rough the past couple of months nursing Dad till he died .I don’t regret looking after him 24/7 but that was both physically and mentally draining and now all the paperwork and his house to sort out.I am ploughing through it but it’s never ending.We had the funeral so you would think that’s it but no it’s just the start.

A house of Mum and Dads belongings and memories to clear out ,things that were precious to them and they treasured lovingly all to be thrown away or given away.I have let the family have what nicknacks they wanted but that didn’t even make a dent .

Mum is away with the fairies in her dementia state of mind and doesn’t even remember Dad died so I don’t say anything about it anymore now.Shes happy in her world and being well cared for by carers in the care home.I can’t even ask her what to do or for help.

My brother is trying to get his claws in their house but Dad was adamant that he have nothing at all even wrote a legal document signed by a solicitor to the effect but I am expecting a fight.I told Dad when he was alive that I am not fighting the boys I will sign it and walk away.If greed is the only reason they want the house then they can have it and I hope it chokes them.If love was there then it would be different but in the last three years one brother has made two visits and the other brother zero visits.But to be fair the other brother was dead as I found out recently  but Dad never knew.He went to his grave upset and hurt that his boys couldn’t bother with him all these years .

So now apart from the massive task of clearing the house and doing maintenance work to bring it back to being a safe property to live in ,I need to decide wether to sell it or rent it out all of which will go towards Mums care .

 

 

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