it’s been hard lately…but I try 2 focus on the positives…but I can only do such for so long…

I’ve realized that I tell myself things deeply amid the course of a day depending on what’s occurring…

I’ve also realized that there is an elongated trick, test, or disappearance that my life plays me with: romance & companionship. People I see everyday are not allowed to be with me in the manner that we’re conditioned as humans to be; therefore, I’m almost convinced that such is my price for wealth. However, such is a price I pay for everyday…I cannot get away from it. 

Furthermore, life goes out of its way to make it appear as though I am hated, shunned, or unworthy of being loved by someone romantically. However, I know such is bullshit…But why life has used this to elongate my existence? 

I’m unsure…Maybe to make it worthwhile or interesting. Today the thoughts of suicide came back. I read affirmations against such too..




Leave a Comment: