9/4/17 Day One

And so the funs begun. I don’t really think that this journal is going to take any shape in particular. I’ve been looking for a place to put a lot of personal stats I guess you can call it to keep track of some of my patterns. That way, I can weed out the negative and be proud of the positive changes. I’m currently working full time, taking classes and have a fiance so I definitely could use a space to write whatever it is that’s on my mind. Everyday though, I want to talk a little bit about how my relationship with my body has been that day. How did I move, how did I nourish, how did I have fun, how did I love, how did I grow my mind. All of this is important to me because growth is a holistic process, not a piecemeal one. So heres how my day went today.

I woke up this morning slightly disconnected from myself which makes sense because I went to sleep feeling really pressured. Right now my fiance and I are living with his parents and I don’t have a car. I am trying to save for that and a quad and a trailer and pay for classes. I feel overwhelmed and stressed that I won’t be able to do it. This is because, just like everything, I’ve been looking at everything that takes time and effort as a task. Even fun things! There is no way that I can be happy when I see the bad in everything. This negativity is also putting a lot of pressure on our relationship as is my unrelenting stress. We fought this morning because he doesn’t understand why I am putting a time cap on when I get the car. I want a time cap because I feel like I have no control. I am a control freak who is seeking to flow with my life. Of course I am going to feel uncomfortable with the feeling at first. I just need to breath and remember that everything really isn’t that serious and that I could look at all these changes as the beautiful opportunties they are. 

My Daily Stats:

  1. Movement: 60 minutes run, 45 minutes yoga
  2. The nourishment: currently, a little undernourished but it has been a crazy day so far. this definitely has something to do with feeling unworthy of eating more though. I was feeling heavy after taking a few days off last week when I was sick
  3. Fun: I really enjoyed everything after I got home from work. I’m not trying to control how things go, I’ve done plenty
  4. Self love: slow gentle yoga, some beautiful wax in a pen, painting my nails, lathering myself up and cuddling in bed. I would say I’m doing ok.

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