Happy Birthday to ME.

So, this past weekend was my birthday. It was honestly the best birthday I have had in a long time. I spent the whole weekend back home with friends and family. It was perfect. Literally perfect. Getting away from here for a weekend was definitely needed. That’s so sad to say because this was my favorite city. I loved it here but all of that was ruined. This place is nothing but a dark and lonely place now. Certain places I used to go just make me literally sick to my stomach. It’s terrible. I don’t know how much longer I can stay here.

Besides all of that…

Life is fantastic. There’s a fire inside that I thought would be dim forever. I thought I’d be miserable forever. I didn’t think I would ever be happy. I was stuck in the mindset that I’m just not meant to be loved. I spent so long trying to make others happy that I didn’t realize they didn’t have the same intention. I beat myself up for so long. Wondering why do these things happen to me? What did I do wrong? Is there something wrong with me? But I’ve finally accepted that it’s not me. I wasn’t the problem. I AM worth it. I do deserve happiness but I wasn’t going to look for it. But happiness somehow found me. I’m not sure how or why. But I’m not questioning it. I am wearing a real smile every day and I have him to thank for that ❤️

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