I managed to get a day when I could sort out some of the paperwork and stuff that has been waiting for a while.
It isn’t life or death stuff just stuff that keeps getting moved from one area to another as I plan to do it and something else happens so it gets left.
My kitchen is being remodelled so trying to live with the bare essentials is becoming a nightmare.We have food and pots and pans in every room as the whole kitchen has been stripped back to nothing.
A friend is doing it for me to save costs but he can only do it now and then.So this is going to take months.
I have been thinking about friends and realise I don’t have many at all .Thinking about it I wonder how do you make friends ? How do you manage to strike up conversations with strangers without sounding like a total nutjob ? .
Even when I was a kid I was socially awkward and not a kid that just went out and made friends the same day.I was the kid that just stood there in the shadows and waited hence I played alone for the majority of time.
Do you learn how to make friends or is it something that comes naturally ?
Any adult friends I have had have been because of my kids ,a case of my kid plays with their kid.I call them friends but really they aren’t they are just people I have to talk to because my kid wanted to go their house or vice versa.
I moved in this house I live in 20 years ago and still don’t know anyone .I say good morning to my immediate neighbours but then scurry indoors incase they say anything else to me as I don’t know what to say back.
I take the dog for a walk ,she has lots of doggy friends but apart from me giving a smile to the owners I don’t know what to say to them either.
I like to think I am a friendly person and approachable but maybe I don’t show it.
Looking for someone to blame then it would be my Mother and the way she brought me up as I was never allowed to speak or have an opinion .She told me never to tell people anything about what happens indoors or in the family .The reason being she neglected me and mentally abused me but being little I didn’t know this.I just done as I was told or else !
I was a lonely kid ,a lonely teen and now a lonely adult all because I don’t know how to make friends .

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