Im annoyed and just plain down tired

So I haven’t written in a while because I don’t know what to say or really didn’t want to talk about it but now I’m to the point I have to say something because I need to get it off my chest.  Now I’m mad but more sad about the situation. Its to a point that I don’t know what to do.

So last week my mil called me about something to tell you the truth I have no clue what she wanted let a lone why she called to begin with. So anyways when she called it was around the time that my husband and I were talking about the month of Septmeber this is the end of the year for the government so I was trying to get the schedule down to have stuff planed out. So during the convo I said to my mil IF I need you on Monday will you come over so that I can take Danica to her Ice cream party from 6-7 but John should be home around 6:15-6:30 its just enough for me to go and her response was wow you are going to let me watch mady. I didn’t say anything I just let it go because my dad always told me about her just to let things go don’t think about it she will say what she wants so leave it alone. So that’s what I did now shes watched my girls other times not all the time but when I’m in a pinch I will ask but I don’t need a babysitter every weekend or whatever. So then she brings up thanksgiving. Now to go back to previous years we have had family came out 20+ years so I always did thanksgiving dinner with my family.  She never had a problem with it till 2 years ago when my family DID NOT come out and I said okay fine I will do Thanksgiving with you but as long as my family was in town we will be having thanksgiving. This is not a every other year kinda thing its a holiday that plan on us not being there.  Well she  brought it up and I said that we were doing thanksgiving with my family they were coming out that week and I want to be with my family. Well she goes off that’s right its always your family with the holidays we never get any holidays. So than I calmly asked what are you talking about you get no holidays.  Well I’m still waiting for that because I don’t understand what she is saying. So she keeps going at me. I said if you do lunch we will be there but I’m having dinner with my family. And I ended it like that. So then I go to my husband and I asked him what do you think if I ask about doing thanksgiving on a different day with your family my family has done it that year they couldn’t come out. He goes that’s a great idea. Well I called her and I said that and she goes off why do we always have to change our times. Its now like your family does. and I said what. We have changed thanksgiving one time you guys have not. and she goes off. so I went off. I’m mad because this is the first MAJOR holiday with out my daddy and she has to do this. Like why and what have I done to her to do this. We thought we were going to have problems with other members but they all are okay with it and here I am with a mil who is giving me problems. So I went off on her basically I told her thanks for ruining my first MAJOR holiday with out my dad and that she can go f off.  and that I will tell my family that my mil is being crazy and to f off I have to go with her and I hung the phone up on her.  Well I didn’t hear from her till yesterday and yesterday was a pointless call like I feel bad for johns aunt she moved to florida and than hurricane Irma hit. I sent her a fb post of the girls and said that we missed her and love her and to stay safe I didn’t say anything about the rest of the family because I don’t care. Well she calls and says you know the rest of the family is with her right. and I’m like yeah and she goes oh okay. Like I’m suppose to say something to them. They never got into contact with me when my dad passed away but here I am suppose to kiss somebody elses ass because they are going through a hurricane well welcome to Flordia. So I basically said I had to go because I was done talking to her so I got off the phone with her and went on my rest of the day. So this morning I get a group text (Just to let everybody know I HATE group text) so I get this text that said everybody was fine and safe. Well I didn’t respond to it and just let it go. Well during nap time I get another text from her asking if she was coming over to watch Mady and I said no and that her son was home and we were good but thanks. I get another one back that said oh darn okay. Well than I go to john to let him know what happen and he goes okay well I don’t get off work till 715 and I said what why and he goes because we need the money and I’m like well you really need to get up earlier and than he starts with me and ever since I think Friday he has gave me an attidude so I just walked away and told him he can do what he wants and if he wants to call his mom and ask her to come that’s fine just let me know. The reason why is because I will leave because she is not ruining my babies first school activity with her friends. Last year they couldn’t do these activities because they weren’t funded enough to do it. So I want my baby to have the best experience ever. So as of now I don’t know what he did but I’m really tired of the attidude I understand this is a stressed full time I get that but I don’t need any more attitude from him or his mother because I will shut down and not talk to anybody. At this time I’m close to it. Like Septemeber is already hard enough with john working these long hours. but I missing my daddy more because its my birthday month. I wish I had him to talk to because he will just tell me how it was.  I think that’s where I get it from. This week is just so busy. Tonight we have ice cream social, tomorrow I have a doctors appointment and Danica has class than Wednesday we have the library class that I do not know if we are going to. Than on Thursday we are going to my moms for family dinner Friday I’m hoping to go get my tags and licences and than Saturday depending on what my mom does I will be going there.  So I just cant deal with the stress anymore. I’m doing the best that I can to be with everybody but I’m too a point moving out of state will be better. But I know that wont go over well bc my inlaws will follow me. 

So on a funny note Danica was sitting here and she farted and I go Danica lynn did youfart and she goes yes mommy but listen to this one and I go what and she pushes really hard and she farts again and I go Danica did you poop your self and she goes no mommy I just farted. So I started laughing and she farts again and I’m like Danica you don’t do that out in public you just do that here at home but if you have to fart than let it out but don’t do it on purpose and she goes okay but mommy listen to this and she does it again and I’m like wow you are your fathers daughter.

Man I’m so freaking annoyed my anxiety is started back up and my stomach is hurting. I hate doctors I hate crowds and here in about 28 days I’m heading to flordia like really what was I thinking. Oh I know what I was thinking I week long with my daddy and here I am don’t want to go but my babies are so excited that I cant not go. So yeah. Well this is long enough and I have to figure something out for dinner because the ice cream party starts in 2 hours!

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