who am i?

it’s clear to me that I don’t know what I want to do with my life high school is almost over and I’ve fallen back into depression because of home situations and I always daydream how I would possibly end my life and if I did how would I do it

would it be a painful and fast death or a painless and sad death. 

Everythings really getting to me, I’m trying so hard to help myself but I don’t even know who I am or who I want to be. 

I feel like I can’t be helped I’ve tried everything from coping methods, hospitals, therapist and here i am still sad with my life and its not that I’m too lazy to fix it because I’ve tried everything it’s just after you’ve tried every possible solution and you still end up a failure and after you have multiple suicide attempts and failed …how are you supposed to feel after all that because right now I’m miserable 

I’ve lost all friends I have a boyfriend and I try and stay happy around me but at the end of the day its just me and I’m alone and I’m hurting I’m slowly dying and no one can save me 

No one.

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