Day 562 & 563 – Show & breakdown

Sunday, September 10th 2017

I went to church and actually drove there. I didn’t do too great, but I didn’t break any laws either, so there’s that, haha. I also drove back and I did better that time. My mom was taking deep breaths before taking off, making me laugh and ask her if she thought she was about to go on a rollercoaster or something.

At home I ate lunch and then I was off again. I didn’t drive this time though, since we were taking the highway and I don’t have the permit for that. We picked up my uncle so he, my dad and I could go see a free small light show in an underconstruction train station. It was pretty good. Underwhelming, but not bad at all for a free show. The music they played during it was amazing, but too bad I can’t find it anywhere.

At home I don’t remember what I did. I think I just relaxed and watched Supernatural.

Monday, September 11th 2017

Today was going well and ended okay. You’ll see what I mean later 

I started with English and we continued watching the movie. Since it was early morning, and I knew I would have more time to do French work later, I let myself relax and watch the movie.

In technology we had a substitute, although nothing changed. I continued my TIE Fighter as usual. I need to speed up my production a bit though, since I’m taking up the bigger 3D projects that take hours to do.

At lunch I waited for my close friends, but ended up joining Kohai. They were eventually there, but I decided to talk and study math with her instead. Later both of them walked with us a bit and then one of them we talked to quite a bit before the bell.

Next we had French, where I worked on my book questions, then we wrote some notes and did some figures of speech game together.

I ended with math where we took notes as usual.

At home I let myself watch YouTube for half an hour before doing my math homework. After supper I went and worked on my portfolio and after an hour, ended up scrapping my whole idea for something. Now, this is when I had my long dued breakdown. I couldn’t figure out a new idea, so I went downstairs to watch Supernatural episodes with my parents to get my mind off it, but ended up telling them how stressed I am which led to being incredibly discouraged and crying. I said that part of myself wants to strive to become the best, but the other part thinks I’m not good enough and shouldn’t even try. My mom sounded a bit irritated which didn’t help my case. After calming down a bit, I broke off so I could help Kohai with math by sending her a text. My mom came up to see me and calmly asked if I was coming to watch he episode, since I was upstairs for a while. I angrily said I was coming, since I was fustrated over everything. After sending the text I broke down for a minute again before collecting myself and going downstairs. I suggested to watch a YouTube video showing this comedic behind the scenes from a fan’s point of view on Supernatural, since I found it earlier in the evening and wanted to show it even if I already watched it. They found it funny, and then we watched a normal Supernatural episode. My mom then left and wished me goodnight, giving extra air kisses to make me feel better. Then I brought up the yearbook to my dad while he was putting stuff away and we later discussed the struggles of being an artist and how it’s an emotional rollercoaster. But during all that, I managed to find an idea that I’m finally confident about.

I’m gonna go to bed now and sleep well. Tomorrow I might not be able to work on my portfolio, cause of a test the day after, but, one thing at the time, right?

That’s all for today.

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