Thursday September 14th

I am writing from school. It’s 7:44 am and I’m okay with my plans for the day, I think. I had a 2nd date with Sam last night. I drank 2 cocktails, and I feel bad. Ugh. I just cannot drink. I really hate myself for continuing to mess around with alcohol when it does nothing but negative things for me. I feel bad from even 2 drinks. I am not drinking at all tonight at Jan’s event. I guess I want to “look cool” and fit in. It’s so dumb of me. I sound like a teenager. I haven’t exercised since school started and I can tell I’m gaining weight- because not only am I not exercising I am eating terrible. I have got to get myself straightened out. I have been thinking again about moving back to Kentucky and being a foster parent. I don’t know what I want. I want someone to explain all my stuff to that will then tell me what to do based on my situation. I am not able to decide for myself. I need help.

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