Today I feel things I haven’t felt before. Things I can’t really explain, but I have to explain them so that I can push the thoughts to the back of my mind and let them go. You know?
Lately I have been feeling out of place and very loner like. I love living with my boyfriend and his family but sometimes I kind of feel like I am not part of the family, but just another person who pays my portion of the mortgage and then I clean for them every once in a while.. I feel like now that the baby is almost here all she gets is attention. I feel like that’s the main reason she got pregnant, which honestly really bugs me. Bugs me to the max. I can’t tell you how much I just wanna slap some sense into people.
One person gets pregnant and they are the most amazing human being in the world and deserves all the attention when in reality that’s something we shouldn’t do… By giving her all this attention she’s realized that she can get away with doing nothing all day and everyone will do it for her.. It’s so annoying.
I don’t usually make assumptions, but I can tell you I am not the only one that thinks this way. A couple of other people and I believe that she got pregnant because she saw how much attention her sister got and she wanted all of that for herself… Like SERIOUSLY?! You are going to get pregnant at the age of 18/19, just so you can feel wanted and/or get a bunch of unneeded attention?! That doesn’t make sense to me! Not to mention she is living with us and all she want’s to do is go to her parent’s house everyday. And I can tell you right now that I guarantee that she will be over there more often than not once the baby is born. Sleeping there, taking care of the baby there…. It’s going to be nice that I won’t have to listen to the baby cry or scream in the middle of the night, but I will be very upset that we got the house and made a complete baby room just for the baby and they aren’t even here. IDK I guess I am just ranting at this point, but this is how my brain has been going lately and I needed to get the shit off of my mind before I blew up on someone.
I just really hope that all my thought and assumptions are wrong. I really do. And I really hope she get’s another job like she says she’s going to.