Friday was a mess. I’ve decided on taking a rest from the morning and so on. It was hard – I hate taking rest. I hate being unproductive. And I do hate being ill. Going to the doctor yesturday – as I’ve soon enough understood – was a pretty rational idea since today I was not able to. Buying the medicine late in the evening – as well. Today it started with the terrible headache and it was nothing I could do so far but talking with my close friend. Tanya and Danya as well as my lovely family were there for me from the begining of thr day till the end.
I was trying to buy the plane ticket again and it turn out to be a disaster. Again, I’ve failed. But this time I did not let it go. I’ve cryed out loud. But than suddenly somethink have changed. I’ve realized that fucking funny coincidence. And I’ve called two of my spiritual teachers, Tasya and Tanya right on the way. And the first thing I was saying was just those “I need help”. And I did need help. And, as always, I’ve recieved one…
The evening has passed in the practises. Without a break for more then 3 hours I’ve been working on myself. And I felt myself a new – bord after that. I could feel the huge beg fallen down of my shoulders. And I could breath again.
And I had that understanding in my head that nothing can happen to me. Nobody can ever harm me. I have such friends and family that exactly NOBODY could harm me. Because we are the great force of good and light. Thank you, the close ones, for being there for me.