119 – I don’t know

I started at least 4 things this morning. Have not finished a single one. Positive: I started 4 things.  Negative: I finished none.  I’ve read a few diary entries.  I’m thinking I need to journal elsewhere. Too much sadness and tragedy on this one. I know journals are for letting all the sadness and tragedy out.  But I guess what I am looking for is more of a community of like-minded women and men. Just ordinary people trying to live a simple life.  

My monkey mind:

Finished item #1 – yay!

Going to search for a different journal.

Amazon returns – have to print labels

Work issue – asked question

Smile – happiness looks gorgeous on you.

I was happy yesterday. Most of the day. Til I got home.  I had a list of things I wanted to do.  Lists are not my forte. But I appreciate their value and I try to list when I can.  And yesterday I did. Then got home and got derailed. D asked for help with homework then pushed me away. That pissed me off. S was out playing godknowswhere. I’m thinking of my list.  And thinking of dinner.  And thinking of wanting to play badminton with D. And thinking about S’s homework. And thinking of the fleas on the cat. Gaaahhhhh!!!!! Then H comes home late. I’m trying to get the kids fed. He springs a trip to get icecream on us. It was very thoughtful of him – he had checked the kids’ grades and both are doing was very good work thus far and wanted to treat them.  

I went to bed in a crappy mood having felt like I accomplished very little.

Today is our wedding anniversary. 19 years. I was thinking about it last night as I stewed in my resentment toward all of them. I reminded myself of the date and vowed to make today better than yesterday.  I woke H with a Happy Anniversary kiss.  I lit our candle. We agreed to have a quiet evening at home with a fire in back yard.

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