The closest I’ve ever been to dying completely has been once when I was younger.I had decided to go swimming on my own, without anyone around, as a result I had nearly drowned.
To be honest, I don’t remember the pain of drowning(I hear drowning is a horrible way to die or struggle through).I had passed out eventually, that’s the part I remember. Everything didn’t suddenly go out like a light, no, it dims. It was like someone slowly was turning down the lights, I could make out the sight of the air bubbles I had released from my last breath as they floated up to the surface and my eyes had closed in the last second they had vanished.
I don’t know how long I was under, but I’m assuming I was under for a while.
I was unconscious, but conscious, if that makes any sense.
It wasn’t like sleeping, more like someone had put a blindfold over my eyes and I had no body whatsoever. I couldn’t feel anything, and I couldn’t even tell when I was lifted from out of the pool. I could hear everything around me. That’s how I know I was under for quite some time. It was while I was in the dark. I heard someone yelling and screaming then(my mother).
I remember that my mind was completely blank at the time. It was like I was a blank slate. No memories, thoughts, feelings or emotions crossed my mind. I didn’t wonder who was screaming, where I was or why I was there like that.It was like I had no awareness of who or what I was. I didn’t wonder why I couldn’t feel my body. Or simply why it felt like I didn’t have a body.
I was in complete peace. Too peaceful. It was overwhelming and I didn’t feel scared at all. I felt like I could let everything go. As if I could sink deeper and allow myself to pass.It’s hard to explain how powerful the feeling of peace was.
Then they revived me.
I remember being so angry at them. I was mad for being alive.It was like someone giving you a gift that gives you these indescribable feelings or emotions, and then suddenly having it ripped away from you.
Sometimes, even if it’s strange, I still get sad about it. It changes how you think about death, it changes how you feel about living.
While everyone’s experiences are different and death might be a feel-good process, I still believe everyone should live as much as their able. Life is full of experiences you might only have at the moment while your alive. As someone of christian faith, I don’t know if they would offer delicious cinnamon rolls in heaven.Just like death, it’s a once a time experience, you don’t get another chance. It’s best not to rush through experiences in life. Otherwise, you will never get the full flavor of what life has to bring. Stop and smell the roses.
That’s why I still live and wait for the chance when I get to go back to that time, and this time, not be interrupted.