I was just sitting there, feeling hungry as hell. That’s what I get for skipping breakfast, the most important meal of the day. I told him that, I told him I was hungry and his immediate response was to ask me if he could buy me anything. I didn’t really think much about it, I told him I could just ask my friends for food, or eat theirs. But he insisted, he insisted on buying me lunch and so he did.
It was free hour and no classes, just studying in a room next to the library. Me, 3 friends and 3 others girls I have no idea who are. Everyone sitting in groups talking while studying, some watching movies. Me on the other hand, I was sitting by myself by the desk closest to the door. Still very hungry but trying not to think much about it, focus on my studies.
Then I get a text message from him, telling me to come down to the canteen. He was waiting for me so he could buy me something. Though I have never actually talked to this guy before, I have never stood face to face with him or even next to him. I told him he could just forget about it, that I wasn’t dying of starvation. Honestly I just didn’t want to face him, too scary.
Even then he refused to go back to his work, he kept on asking me what I wanted. I kept telling him to forget about it, but then after a short while of talking I decided why not. I told him to choose something for me himself, and he choose one of those huge baguettes!
He then wanted for me to come get it, his office is next to the library so handing me the food on the way wasn’t difficult. Still, I’m too insecure to go out of the door and get the food for myself. I kept telling him to come inside and just hand me the food. He didn’t want to, I completely understand that. It is kind of weird to just enter a room just to hand some student some food. He kept telling me to just go out the door and get it for myself, which would be what a normal person would do. But like I said, I’m not ready to approach him myself even if its just outside the door and it would just be for 2 seconds to get my food.
He is stubborn, I am stubborn. We were both two stubborn people trying to give me the food and me wanting the food. Though since he was at work, he couldn’t go on like this forever. He broke and I won. He entered the door so suddenly and I didn’t know how to react. Things happened so fast, he came in and almost passed my desk as he looked a bit confused. He flipped his hair to the side and put the plate with the baguette on my desk. “God you are so stubborn!” He said and laughed to himself. I didn’t know where to put my eyes, I think I was mostly looking at the food. I just said “thank youu” and then he was gone out the door again.
It was nothing too special, but it was the first time I’ve gotten to say anything at all to him. Or the first time he has been that close. The first time we have actually approached eachother after weeks of non stop chatting.
Don’t forget that I have a big thing for this guy, I like him a lot. And I want to start something great with him, but my anxiety is ruining everything. As you may see, I’m taking the smallest steps ever and I’m not forgetting a single one of those steps.