I am not well this morning. I don’t have school today. I slept until after 8am. They is some kind of construction going on outside and the noise is driving me crazy. I am starting to have the withdrawal sypmptoms from not having my medicine. I don’t know why my insurance didn’t go through. I have to go see about that today. I need to get up and get going soon. I have a doctor appointment with the lung doctor at 2pm. I don’t remember making it. Ugh. I need to go to the post office, the pharmacy and check on the medicine problem and walk at the park. I haven’t heard from my mother in days. I texted her on Sunday when I was really freaking out and said are you busy. She called me and when she realized I was freaking out she “had to go” and would call me later. Now it’s Thursday and she still hasn’t called. That’s what happens when I try to lean on her for support. She bugs me to be be in my life over and over, and then I give in and try to reach out for help and poof. She knew I was crying and freaking out and yet no sign of her. Nice. I have no thereapist. don’t have anyone to talk to about my problems. I don’t know what to do. I am scared, freaking out, overwhelmed. My job is killing me. I cannot keep up. I am about to lose my mind. I have no one to care.
Just Keep Swimming
I am a 47 year old adult child of an alcoholic. My childhood could have been a Lifetime movie. I am dealing with PTSD, anxiety, and severe depression as a result. I am working on gaining an understanding as to what this means and learning how to be okay with myself. Some days, just killing myself and being done with it seems like the most sensible option. On those days, I keep telling myself, "just keep breathing in and out, that's enough for today."