Day 5

 I feel good about myself.  I refused to weigh myself this morning, it’s surprising how difficult that is. It’s like there’s a part of my mind that wants me to hate myself.  I feel like weighing myself keeps me in control, but that is so not true, if it was, I would be a size 0.  Not being obsessed with my weight, is so freeing.   I’m beginning to see the positive side of OA.  When I did not have a program, I had to be obsessed with my weight because I had to make up for binges.  But now that I am addressing the reasons for them, I do not have to overcompensate.   Yes, my mom is in town and I’m eating out and I’ll probably be up a few pounds, but they are not compulsion pounds, I am fellowshipping with family and friends and not mindless eating. I had left overs again last night, I don’t even want them this morning, this is so out of character for me.  I feel like I am finally making real progress working on the root of the issues.  This morning I walked, yoga, meditated, but I only read a few pages of the Big Book.  Everyday is a new day, and I will choose to be abstinent today.  God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.  

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