another day of a lonely 31 year old student!

What a thing to get through a day and doing it alone! I’m a Christian woman who from time to time experiences extreme ups and downs in the world of love, courtship intimacy friendship,  even pursuing a career! . Someone like me sometimes I feel that I’m alone and no one understands that plight.   That’s when I completely question it all my life my choices and my relationship with God and my relationship as a person with my own self. I get these moments where I desire to be wanted, appreciated and respected. Now, I know I can get that from my peers and from my family but it is just that one idea, that notion that one gets where you can’t be so desire love you want for someone who’s just exclusively yours.  This is my first journal entry hopefully I do more. Be forewarned many of them may have a running trend of me expressing my struggles between love and an identity that I’m trying to figure out but hopefully through it all I can be able to form level of comfort in myself and be settled with being single and managing it solo uno! I don’t believe every journal entry I have will be made public but for this one it will be and I hope that I can make friends and meet people even bridge awkward gap  that I have.  I ask who I am really and who I am when I meet others do not marry well. If I am met in person one would never think that I was secretly suffering from a self-esteem issue and unable to fully commit and bond with somebody whole heartedly because of fear of rejection and loss… So I’ll do my best to pour out my heart and what I write hopefully  makes sense but it helps for me and others. 

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