I am 100% new to this and I am a little nervous, but I think I am going to go for it anyway. So as you can tell by the title I will be writing about how writing is my power as well as how it’s helped me.
I have been writing personally for years now and I have been through a lot of crap, but when it came down to it I had to write it down in someway even if it was something that might not make sense later on. I have had people walk out of my life and some people who have stayed with me through my hard times even though they didn’t know I was going through anything to them I was okay and seemed to be doing fine. However, what my friends didn’t and continue not to know is that I am suffering a lot on the inside I have thought about everything and I have felt depressed about a lot of what has been going on in my life lately but unlike most people I have never told anyone how I feel about it all nor do they know about my depressing feelings.
Instead of telling people out loud I have been writing everything down about my life. I have talked about my best friends walking out of my life and how they act as if they never knew in their life, as if we were never friends. It sucks because for me that’s not the first and probably won’t be the last time someone walks out of my life unannounced, if you want to know further details just ask. After all of this happened I thought the worse of myself I started blaming myself for everything going wrong in my life. I began to think of ways to harm myself (never did anything I promise.)
After a while I thought to myself, “why don’t I just write it all out?” So that’s exactly what i did, I felt that writing it down rather than tell people would help me more. I have always thought that people in my life would never truly care, even if they say they do I always have the thought in the back of my head that “they really don’t care why are you still talking?” so I began to write down everything I went through on a day to day basis. I also wrote down my frustrations and everything that I would want to say to someone but know that I would never get the courage to actually say it outloud. I found out that writing kind of gave me the power I was looking for in a way. The power it gave me was that it gave me freedom to express myself with not worrying about what judgement will come my way.
I write personally but I have made up stories before as well. I write about things I go through in a journal and about how I have changed throughout the years. Whenever I don’t know what to say I write it down and for some it might be a bad thing because I don’t actually talk about it I just write it down and leave it as that. I pretend that nothing happened and that the issues I was facing at the time never existed, but they did and continue to exist. I have to learn you can’t run or hide from your issues or fears just face them head on.Writing is my greatest power but it is also a way for me to hide and I’m tired of hiding I just don’t know how to express myself otherwise.