Bad habits

I feel disgusting.  Practically every day I have off from work I vow to workout and be productive and almost every time I end up eating all day and staying in bed and watching Netflix.  I have been eating like crazy.  I’m sure I gained at least 5 or more lbs this month.  I’m not sure if it’s stress or depression or both.  I just know that enough is enough.  I’ve got to stop this destructive behavior because it only makes me feel worse.  Nothing really new has developed since my last entry besides my weight.  I kind of just want to stay in this hole until I lose some weight and start feeling better about myself.  Time to go into hermit mode.  Tyler randomly Snapchatted me a picture of himself in bed last night, shirtless.  I’m like what is the point?  You fishing for compliments or bored or what?  He’s so weird, he doesn’t even text me really, we have more “conversations” through Snapchat.  I’m just done with him, I really don’t know why I was so flustered when I first met him.  Same with Anthony.  I just make things out to be more than they really are and the guys end up disappointing me.  I’m done with it.  My expectations of guys are so low these days, it’s sad.  Just ignore if I write in here anytime soon about a guy I’m crazy about and how he’s different from the rest.  It’s a mirage.  Hormones.  An illusion.  So I’m back to work today and luckily it’s only for 6 hours.  I plan on working out this morning before work so hopefully it’ll actually happen and I won’t lazy out.  Other than that nothing exciting is going on.  Can it be October already?  I’m done with sucky September.     

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