122 – fear

When I was a child I thought my dad was very mean. I didn’t really know how much he loved me. I was afraid of him. I walked on egg shells around him. He could be explosive. He never harmed me, but I was afraid he would. Why am I thinking about this at this moment? Because a co-worker was just berated by someone in authority for something that was so minor. The person in authority doesn’t know how to manage people with grace. She’s very inexperienced. And she is treated the same way by her boss. Why can’t we just be nice to each other?

But back to my father. As a result of the anxiousness I grew up with I have my own irrational fears of people who are in authority. Case in point. (as if on cue) A guy just came over to me looking for something and I felt fear.  Fear.  And I know it shows.  I’m not going to ask why I feel this way. I think I spelled that out above. The question should be how do I get beyond it?  How do I learn from it and grow?

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