[81] ~* Tue – 10/03/17*~

[1:59 am]

It’s 2 am and I’m not sleeping. Why did this have to happen? Why do things always happen to me?

I called my friend, I just had too. She was indeed in bed but not sleeping yet. We talked a bit and I was all decided, I was going to call the place where I bought my doors and ask them to come put a deadlock on my door. We also came up with the idea of putting a bungee cord around the levers so it will keep it close and a chair against the door. I just don’t feel safe to go away and need to find something to at least try to prevent someone from breaking in so I’ll feel okay to go away. My friend said that if I wanted to stay home, she understood. I do want too but I need to keep living. Right?! So anyways, we talked till hub got home. 

Hub is saying that a deadlock wouldn’t change anything. The thing was, with the regular lock someone can take a card and force it open but we looked and there’s no way someone can put a card in there. Not the way the door is made so basically the only reason a deadlock could be safer would be cause it’s not as easy to break if someone forces the door. The door wasn’t forced so that’s not my worry. My worry was that someone could use a card but they can’t as we tested it. There’s a piece that makes it impossible. I feel a bit better but it still doesn’t explain how the door was open. I do believe in ghost but that isn’t good enough for me right now. I have no idea how someone could open the door at all. Hub said we needed to go with the explanation that it wasn’t closed all the way so it opened. That’s not possible as we haven’t use the door and I always make sure it is closed when I lock it which the last time was prob like 2 months ago. 

Anyways, I did the dishes and we watched Kevin Can Wait. I calmed down but I’m still super worried. I don’t know how he can not worry about it. After watching the show I came to bed to play on my farming game and wanted to read but I don’t know if I’ll be doing that. I should try to sleep as I have to wake up for 9 am as I need to pack our bag before leaving. I’m debating on taking a sleeping pill as I’m not sure I’ll be able to sleep. I haven’t took a pill in two weeks. I’m doing so good, I don’t want to screw it up. Arg!

So yea, hub said we wouldn’t need to get a deadlock. I think I still need to do some research on that. Now I wonder if I should get an alarm, see if that would make me feel better. The thing is, it will die down and I’ll be okay without extra safety. It’s just for tomorrow as if it was someone that did open the door and come back they will do it now and not in some months. So it’s now that I need it and I can’t have it now. 

Alright let’s try and not talk about it anymore. I didn’t really talk about my day so let’s do that right now. This morning I was as always hoping my client would cancel, she didn’t. She took like an hour so I still had two hours to kill. I was gonna come back home to nap but told myself I had to stay away from my bed. I called my friend which had just woken up and asked her if she wanted to go to the Casino for brunch so that’s what we did. A new month and I’m already spending. I really need to stop that. So at the Casino I played my $5 and mom $25 but didn’t get anything. All I wanted was $20 to pay our brunch so I wouldn’t of “cheated” and spent money already. My friend played her $5 and didn’t win either. After brunch I went to get my second client and then my third. I then rushed over to Costco to get my mom some cheese and then to the store. What a day! The store was such a mess. I’m just glad I don’t work full time over there. When I talked to mom she mentioned the cheese and said she had forgotten to ask me to get her some. She doesn’t know I did get her some so she’ll be happy. 

That’s pretty much it for my day. Now I should try to get some sleep. I’m not really tired anymore. I was so very tired but all that worry kinda took care of it. I hope I can sleep. I can’t believe I didn’t even get to relax in the tub. Bleh!




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