Questioning????

Okay I’m not quite sure where to begin with this so please bare with me. This is about my best friend, Jordan, who is a guy and he’s someone that I have known for a few years (roughly 7-ish years) I know him because we went to the same school, went to the same training (for running and soccer) together. But the main reason we know each other is because of his brother, Jake, see I dated his brother when we were at the end of our freshmen year of high school. After a few months of dating I broke it off with his brother, but we didn’t end it on bad terms at all, we actually stayed friends for awhile. However, after a while his brother and I started becoming friends and soon we were really close. After we started to become friends a little then it just continued from there, Jake was starting to become jealous and so he and I ended our friendship for good. Leaving me and Jordan being friends.

We have become closer throughout the years, despite our age difference. You see we are three years apart, me being older than he is. We are best friends and we have grown closer and closer every year. It has come to a point in our friendship where we act as if we are dating, we always have. People have now and always thought that we are actually boyfriend and girlfriend. We hold hands all the time, yes even when we are in public. We put our heads on each others shoulders all the time, mostly my head on his shoulders. We have always told people that we are just friends and we pretty much put each other in the friend-zone. Apparently his mom has been wanting us to date ever since I broke up with his brother (when we were freshmen in high school) but I don’t know how true that is, but his mom does like me so.

The problems about us are; that my mom might have an issue with us dating because of the 3 year age difference, I did like this guy for a while and was recently turned down and Jordan does know about him which is maybe why he didn’t say anything about liking me. Jordan is also going to be leaving soon for the Navy, he will be leaving in January and the long distance relationship has always been something I’ve been against, but the thing is we have already said that we are keeping in touch as much as we can.  We have also already gone 2 years without speaking. The reason being I had just graduated high school and was heading to college, while he was still in high school. However, once we saw eachother again it was as if we never stopped talking. We have been extra close now more than we ever have been.

Up until recently I have never seen Jordan as someone more then a friend for me. Now that we have been hanging out a lot more I have started to see that maybe we could. I can be myself around him without him judging me at all, he has seen me at my worse and at my best and he still stayed. He knows about my dad and about the people who have left my life, he is the only guy to have ever seen me cry, well the only guy I have been okay with and comfortable seeing me cry. We have a lot of things in common but we also have our differences which I feel will balance out. However, all though we act like we are dating and we have talked about dating and about marriage and other stuff, I have found out that we both want the same thing when it comes to dating and marriage.

My biggest problem is saying something to him about everything and asking him where he sees us going. I want to say something, but I don’t want to ruin our friendship or ruin what we have already. Maybe I’ll just wait and see, or maybe I will be to scared and not say anything at all. Who knows maybe he’ll say something before he leaves or maybe it’ll be something we talk about in our letters when he leaves. Who knows we will have to wait and see what happens for us with the months coming.

2 thoughts on “Questioning????”

  1. Seeing as how close you are as friends it wouldn’t be the end of the world to bring it up. Whether you two decide to go the romantic route or keep things platonic staying friends, in the end, would be most likely. Aside from the awkward fact of your previous relations with his brother, him seeing your relationship with Jordan being successful is a little weird(if that makes any sense). Then again all of this is coming from someone that is still in high school so …

  2. His brother has a new girlfriend now so I don’t think that it’ll be awkward for him. And I do want to talk to him about it and see how he feels, my problem is I don’t know how to or when and I don’t know what to say to start off the conversation about it…

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