Whether it’s fat-shaming, skinny-shaming, dark complexion-shaming, or else – it’s never okay nor acceptable. Oftentimes, people do it out of socially-influenced bad habits. They think it’s normal, only because many do it too.
Most of them don’t give a damn about what they put their targets through. They often make lame excuses like: “I’m just saying!” (Yeah, right) to “It’s just the truth, right?” (Yeah, we’re not blind and stupid, than you very much!)
Other times, they act as if they are giving a social service and their targets have to thank them for that. “We’re just giving an opinion.” (Which is never asked, but somehow – that never stops them.) “We’re saying this because we care about you.” (Oh, yeah – you care so much that you have to humiliate us in public like that!)
Well, it’s taken me a while to have finally accepted the word ‘fat’ as just one of the (supposedly) harmless adjectives. It’s the same thing with ‘thin’, ‘tall’, ‘short’, ‘black’, and ‘white’. Obviously, it’s the people’s biased perception of ‘beauty’ that derogerates it.
Ironically, some of these people are also the same ones who tell you to be yourself or have more confidence. Ha-ha, talk about mixed messages. Not only that, they’re never happy when you defend yourself. All you get from them is either “Hey, I’m just joking!” or “Don’t be too bloody sensitive!”
Ha-ha, do they see you laughing? No? Is it so difficult for them to accept that their jokes are trash? Anyway, here are some of the ugliest side effects of ‘body-shaming’:
- As a kid and a teenager, you don’t feel like going out a lot. What for? Why bother? You’d rather stay in your room forever, with your books, writing kit, stereo, and perhaps a giant teddy bear on your bed. They don’t hurt nor disappoint you like some people do. It doesn’t matter when your dad pops in once in a while, just to remind you that “there’s a world out there worth looking for.”
- You kind of struggle making friends. Once you have some, you still don’t open up easily or act cool towards them – even when you actually need them more than you’d ever like to admit. Worse, in some cases, people like you can be slightly obsessive towards them.
- You seriously re-consider that person your real friend when all they do is mock and tease you about your weight and eating habit, especially in public. Once or twice is probably still okay, but – most of the time? Please, don’t they have anything much more meaningful to talk about – or are they just downright shallow?
- Some friends (who actually care about you) get tired of hearing you complain about…yourself.
- You find it hard to believe that anyone (especially attractive) would like to be with someone like you. You even need a second or third opinion from other people, like your real good friends.
- Sometimes you wonder what it’s like to hurt others too, the way you’ve been hurt. Once you try, you might not like it but probably get the idea of how really unhappy those bullies are with themselves.
- You despise those who look down on you, saying that you need to change your looks/lose weight/whatever in order to find your true love. Actually, it’s actually a lot easier and less dramatic if they’d just shut up and leave you alone.
- Sometimes you just want to cut yourself, just to see if you could get their ‘toxic influence’ out of your system. Some people in your situation actually do, which means they need some real help.
- You stop sharing stories with your (supposedly) loved ones. What for? The last time you showed them a video of you singing or reciting poetry on stage, all you got from them was either “You’ve put on weight again!” or “That outfit makes you look fat!”
- Some wives are sad that they can’t seem to get along with their mothers-in-law, because – pardon me for saying this – some of them can act like “Monsters-In-Law” How would a wife get along well with the mother-in-law if she keeps on being judged by her appearance? It’s like whatever she does for her husband and whole family is NEVER GOOD ENOUGH.
I know, I’m being especially harsh in this topic. You see, I’m sick to death of hearing that only victims of ‘body-shaming’ are being told to “have patience”, “just ignore them”, or “take it lightly”.
How about people who shame other people so much – even consistently? How come they don’t get told more often to “just shut the hell up” or “think before you speak”?
And why do you keep telling me to take care of my health – and use some brightening cream – but then you are completely missing the point of this whole issue?