Hopeless

You finally are 100% happy with your life for the first time in a while. You’ve only been talking to her for a couple weeks but everything about her was intoxicating. She wasn’t perfect but she was perfect for you. The way she looked and her smile was breathtaking. She was driven and determined. She was also very talented. She has a great sense of humor and a beautiful laugh. You had something to look forward to every day and smiled once she messaged you.Everything seemed to be going well until one weekend right after the second date she didn’t feel the same way I felt about her. She was busy with school since she was studying to be a doctor. She said we didn’t mesh well in person but I don’t get why she would kiss me then. Why would she kiss me after the second date then two days later say we didn’t mesh. She wasn’t telling me something and I don’t know what. I believe everything about being busy and getting her priorities straight, but she isn’t telling me something and I’ll never figure out what was missing. I could see myself being with her but she didn’t see it that way. She was everything I wanted in a girl but I wasn’t everything to her and I’ll never know why. It’s very hard going through the days knowing that you cared for her and wanted to be there for her when she needed you. It’s hard knowing that you really enjoyed her company and she didn’t feel the same way. It’s hard knowing that you’ll be going through pain the next few weeks maybe a month or two and she won’t be feeling that because she didn’t care enough to stay. She’ll recover fast probably the day she ended it and you’ll be in pain for a little while. You go through life wondering if she’ll even think another day about you while you’re on the other side and all you can do is think about her. She meant a lot to you and you won’t be able to express the feelings you really had for her. Every time you hear the ding of a text message on your phone you hope its her number that pops up. You know it will never be hers but you still hold out hope that some miracle can happen. You text her as one last effort to change her mind. You know she’ll never want to talk to you again but you can resist. You just want to see her again and hopefully work something out. When you think of her you know she was just right for you but she doesn’t feel the same way about you. You run every day because it is a way to escape reality even if it’s just for a little while. It hurts you knowing that you used to talk to her every day and your face would light up with a smile every time she texted you. Now you don’t talk at all and just hope that she’ll change her mind about you.

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