Thinking back to the day my heart stopped

I feel like I honestly had a choice to stay or go.

I didn’t even go to a hospital. I just left and went driving and ended up at a friends house with a heart condition and just asked her a bunch of stuff. I mean.. c’mon.. the ER is a lot of freaking money.
I know.. I know.. but it’s your life!

Here’s the thing. I chose to stay.. I say my children.. My mother..

I chose to stay. That was before all the horrible things..
I think now, would I have stayed now?

This is a horrible thought because I think I may have let go.

I’m sorry.. I guess I’m also tired of being sick. It sucks to always be sick. That feeling of no pain.. no nothing. Kind of miss it.

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