I don’t know what to do! I turned in my letter of resignation yesterday and my principal kind of freaked out. He doesn’t want me to leave at all. I just don’t know what the right thing to do is. I am definitely worried about Noah, but I don’t really know what I can do to help him if I’m there. I miss him so much and I miss John so much. I thought I should go home last week for sure, but now this crazy woman is gone until January at the earliest. I have two things I have to take back if I stay. I have to tell Killian that I’m not coming back and decline the job, and I have to do something about my apartment- I turned the letter in to the office today. Ugh. Fuck. And I guess Blake is mad at me because she had the workers break into my apartment today through my bedroom window to get to the gas lines. My life is a goddam mess right now. I have a really good job now that cra-cra is gone. I wish Killian hadn’t called me! On Friday, I was all about getting home. Now, I don’t fucking know.
Just Keep Swimming
I am a 48 year old adult child of an alcoholic. My childhood could have been a Lifetime movie. I am dealing with PTSD, anxiety, and severe depression as a result. I am working on gaining an understanding as to what this means and learning how to be okay with myself. Some days, just killing myself and being done with it seems like the most sensible option. On those days, I keep telling myself, "just keep breathing in and out, that's enough for today."